I recently had a conversation with someone about my dating woes, he had read my blogs and had surmised that my troubles stemmed from the fact that I was deemed a “tester” rather than a “keeper”. Initially, I was offended, but then, I thought, perhaps he was right. The thought had crossed my mind before. Perhaps he was right. I thought I always was a keeper … what changed?
Well, my serial dating for one. I had been going out with a lot of people … if you read my blog you know that I had gone through all the letters of the alphabet, plus others I didn’t mention. That’s at least 30 in less than a year. Mind you, some were “one date wonders” and others were longer term, but that is a big number. But is there a “right” number? And what makes someone a “keeper” and not a “tester”? Where do you fit in? Here are some ideas …
Testers versus Keepers in Dating
- Easy to get, easy to keep, you don’t have to try very hard with them
- Gives you everything you want right away
- You can read them
- Appears to just want to have fun
- Not a person you bring home to mom
- Not a person you introduce to your friends
- See them when you feel like it
- Not worth the effort
- Booty Call, Not Relationship, Worthy
- Plays hard to get
- Keeps you wondering
- You can’t mess around
- The type of person you are proud to introduce to your family and friends
- You can’t wait until the next time you speak and see them
- Making them happy makes you happy
- Meets your needs
Upon reflection, yes, I’ve been a tester. So is there anything wrong with being a “tester”, not at all, if that’s where you want to be … after all isn’t dating a test? I was testing too, to find out what, and who, I really wanted, especially after my divorce. Aren’t you trying people on for size too? Sure you are … I am, I admit it. Some guys I dated were testers for me.
Sometimes, you don’t see each other the same, like a tester thinking of the other as a keeper. That’s happened to me. But really, I want to be a keeper with a guy who is a keeper as well and thinks I am a keeper … so, I will keep testing, but now that I know what I want, I won’t just go out there for the fun of it … or will I?
READERS: Do you think there are testers versus keepers in dating? What’s the difference?
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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