Who’s in Control – You or Your Sex Drive?
So you’re dating someone new, it’s only been a couple of dates and they’ve got you all hot and bothered. Whatever do you do? Do you give in to your primal urges, or, do you hold on a little bit longer? But you really want them … and … let’s face it … it’s been a while. A long while. Every time you see them all you can think of is jumping them. You just want to kiss them, touch them … you want to do bad things with them. Hmm where was I? Oh yes, so why not give in? You’re both consenting adults, right? But, you wonder, will it ruin things? Is it better to wait? Your head is hesitating, but your body is telling you to go for it. But, this isn’t a casual fling, this is potentially something real. So, I ask you … who’s in control – you or your sex drive?
Fun Facts About Your Sex Drive
Your sex drive is your libido, it’s what runs your, well, engine and keeps the juices flowing. It’s that desire for someone else that makes you want to have sex with them. Men and women both have it, but it’s thought that men’s sex drive is much stronger than women’s because of the motivations behind it. While women’s sex drive tends to stem from emotional and mental stimulus (traditionally), men’s is more visual. I was reading an article online, Sex Drive: How Do Men and Women Compare?, and they list some patterns of men’s and women’s sex drives that have been discovered via research. Some key points:
- Men think more about sex. Well, no need to explain that one. Although most women do think about sex often, men generally think about it more.
- Men seek sex more frequently than women, according to research cited the article. This can be anything from masturbation to various casual sexual encounters to sex with a partner.
- Women are turned on by various different visual stimulus including all sexual orientations, while men typically are turned on by only their own preferred sexual orientation.
- Women’s sex drives have more socio-cultural influences than men.
- Women’s sex drive is all about the experience rather than the action, according to the article. Men, on the other hand typically are all about the action.
- According to the article, “men who are part of a couple, 75% report that they always have an orgasm, as opposed to 26% of the women.”
So, sex drive? Yes, important. Different for men and women? Yes, of course, different, but still very much a part of who they are and what makes them tick.
Controlling Your Sex Drive?
Cold shower anyone? All this talk about sex getting you a little hot and bothered? Well, have no fear I will help you cool it down … just for a little while. There’s completely nothing wrong with thinking about sex and there’s nothing wrong with having sex, but there’s a time and place for everything! Like Spencer Burnett mentioned in my chat with him, leave something to the imagination, something to look forward to. You just have to develop some willpower. You know what your triggers are, so try and avoid them. If being alone (not in public) with the person you’re on a date with makes you lose your inhibitions, then make sure you meet in public places. I’m not saying you have to wait a long time, you’ll know when it’s right, but all I’m saying is learning to control your urges will ensure you don’t do anything you’ll regret later. Besides, if this is someone you can really see yourself with, then, why not make sure everything happens at the right time in the right way? Think about it …
READERS: Who’s in control? YOU or your sex drive? What are your thoughts on this topic?
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Originally posted on Singles Warehouse right here.
Loved this! Just started seeing a guy and after a few dates already very sexually attracted…but its always best to take things slow, especially if its someone you see yourself with long term!
Thanks for the comment, so glad you like it! You’re right … taking it slow is always the best option.
At my age, my drive appears to be diminishing – unfortunately!
Oh no don’t say that, you might just need different motivations 😉
YOU must be in control of your emotions, feelings and physical well being and I think through this process you are able to develop sense of awareness to whom you can trust and whom to love.
Very well said!!
[…] In the search for intimacy and closeness, we tend to reach out to others in different ways. The desire for closeness with others is part of our humanity. Nothing at all wrong with that. Where it becomes a problem is when people use sex in a non-committal way to get close to other people because they don’t feel fulfilled. The thing is, these casual encounters, instead of fulfilling their need for intimacy, typically make them feel more alone and, in many cases, used. The emptiness remains and it’s joined by feelings of regret and sometimes guilt. This is the reality that many men and women face. I know this because I’ve spoken to many people who have had this experience, and, let’s face it, we’ve ALL been there. Some people are truly capable of having unemotional, purely physical sex, but most people aren’t. This is the reality of the current dating climate. I’ve asked you before … who’s in control? You or your sex drive? […]
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