Suzie

5 Tips to Doing Breakovers Right

Wait a minute, you ask, what’s a breakover? According to the urban dictionary, a breakover is “a complete reinvention of oneself and one’s image, achieved through treatment and improvement one’s physical appearance, as well as ending one’s relationship with a detrimental significant other. A portmanteau of “breakup” and “makeover”.”  We’ve all gone through some broken hearts (click for post on dealing with a breakup) and bad breakups and survived to tell the tale, right? But what if part of getting over someone meant reinventing yourself? What if it meant you became a better, hotter version of yourself?  That, my friends, is a breakover.  I always get a breakover when I go through a bad breakup … I do follow my own advice! Not only do I get my hair and makeup done, I also take pictures to remind me how fabulous I really am and how I am a survivor! You can do it too, you SHOULD do it.  Don’t let the end of a relationship be the end of you.  But how do you do it?

5 Tips to Doing Breakovers Right

  1. It all starts with attitude! You had your good cry, you went through the grieving process … now take all that negative energy and turn it into positive.  Looking good is directly related to attitude.  The most attractive people look ugly when they have a bad attitude.  Just think of how attractive someone looks when they are smiling.  Personally, this has been my saving grace, my confidence, the realization that I’m better for not being with that person because now I can focus on being true to myself … and that I’m fabulous!! Keep telling yourself that! So get off that sofa and take a shower already!
  2. Let’s face it … what’s the first thing people see? Your Face! Skincare is so important.  You need to make sure your skin is healthy and you have a nice glow.  Get a facial or do one yourself.  Use a moisturizer and sun protection.  Not only will it keep you looking your best, your skin will age slower when you take care of it.  Personally, I take very good care of my skin and plan on looking the way I do as long as I possibly can help it.  Screw you growing old gracefully!
  3. Grooming is essential.  Whether you’re a man or woman you need to groom every bit of hair that’s not on your head.  This means eyebrow shaping, remove the facial hair you don’t need (ear & nose hair included), grooming your pubic hair (safely and hygienically) and keeping the rest of your body hair in check.  How you do it and how much is really a personal thing but it always needs to be clean and neat looking whatever it is.  No one needs to go hunting in the jungle to find what they are looking for.  Ya, for me, this is very very important.  Enough said.
  4. Get your hair done.  You know that feeling you get when you leave the hairdresser?  Ya THAT! You feel so good.  Do something completely different with your hair, maybe a new color, highlights, a new cut, a new style … whatever you do don’t do anything you know you’ll regret, but do get out of your comfort zone.  I LOVE going to my hairdresser.  I always leave there feeling gorgeous … who doesn’t like that feeling? Seriously?  It’s worth every penny.
  5. Shop till you (almost) drop.  Now, I’m not saying empty your bank account or max out your credit cards, but what I am saying is go out and buy a nice outfit, or two, that make you feel gorgeous.  Perhaps something that you wouldn’t have worn while you were with your ex.  Here’s an interesting fact about me, I didn’t feel attractive enough before my divorce to wear skirts or dresses.  Now, I only own a couple pairs of pants, the rest are skirts and dresses.  Yup … see, attitude is EVERYTHING.

BreakoverThese are all things that are easy to do and maintain.  You can do them yourself or treat yourself to a professional treatment.  Have a spa day, get your nails done … Whatever you do, remember tip number 1 … attitude … a breakover, really, is ALL about attitude.  Putting your best foot forward will not only ensure you look good but it will also make you feel good … and … nothing is more important than feeling good.  Don’t let a bad experience be your undoing … there REALLY ARE many fish in the sea, when your attitude changes and when you’re truly ready they will be there.  YOU ARE GORGEOUS!! REMEMBER THAT!! Don’t let someone who didn’t appreciate or love you enough define who you are!! So get out of your breakup funk and skunk and have a BREAKOVER!!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

5 comments

  1. Perhaps it’s because I’m a man, perhaps it’s because I recently ended an unhealthy 3 year relationship, perhaps I’m just nuts but I think that these 5 suggestions are misleading in that they are “quick fixes” and fail to address any sort of real problems. Hear me out and then be the judge.

    When you feel tired you might ingest sugar to give you a pick me up however, once your body burns through that sugar you are left feeling worse/more tired than before. These stop-gap measures are just like the 5 steps to a “breakover” because they all fail to address the core issues and attempt to mask the actual pain/hurt/rejection/vulnerability that we all go through when grieving.

    I believe in the the connection of body and mind, this is something I think we can all agree on, correct? One of the big problems I have with this entry is that you don’t address the real relationship and let it fall to the superficial and exterior connection. It’s nice to feel pretty and wear new clothes but, it’s even better to learn how to love oneself regardless of the clothes, hairstyle, or whatever anyone else views as attractive/appealing. Love yourself for who you are as a person, as a friend, as a parent, as a sibling, as a lover, as a human being, etc…

    Break ups are a wonderful thing/time to reconnect with the most important person in your life, yourself. Don’t lose sight of that. You are given the opportunity to decide what really matters to you, to rediscover this amazing person inside that may have gotten lost in the “we.” When we try to solve our pain and loneliness with simple, materialistic or vain, remedies we belittle ourselves. At the end of the day, it’s how you see yourself and a new haircut or fancy clothes will not change that. Work on the root of your problems, it won’t be easy but you will break the cycle that most of us fall into, hoping from one doomed relationship to another.

    I guess the only thing I’m really trying to say is that you need to think about what makes you happy and if it’s these 5-tips then go for them but I feel like a lot of people (myself in particular) strive for more…

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  2. Hello Suzie,
    This is all great advice. But what about women who don’t have all the extra money to spend on hair, nails, waxing, etc etc etc. Not every woman is making six figures or close to it. What about regular nice, sweet, kind, loving, working women who are secretaries, or admins and have an hourly wage? I find that in the US in this society, money and material things mean Everything. Rarely does anyone every truly give a chance to, much less fall in love with someone that doesn’t have, or make a lot of money.
    Even though men & women talk a good game and say they want someone with a good heart, kind, caring, sweet, loving, considerate, fun-loving, etc etc etc, they never really mean that. If they actually meet and hang out with that person, but that person doesn’t have much money, and doesn’t have much in the way of material things, they leave. They find some excuse as to why things didn’t work out with that person. At one time I didn’t have a car, but I had my own place and could very well take care of myself. I never asked anyone for anything. I’ve always taken care of myself financially. Not looking for a sugardaddy or anyone to take care of me financially. Just someone to accept me as I am. But the reality is, no man would deal with me because I didn’t have car. They assumed I was some poor little broke gold-digger who would try to take their money. And that is far from the who I actually am. I don’t need a lot of material things and money to be happy. I’m content with my very simple and non materialistic life. Just like women, men go for the glitz and glamour. They go for the women that “have it goin on.” Regardless of how bit*** they are, just like the book, all the men I know will date and marry a woman who is a straight bit** if she’s hot, and makes good money, has degrees, is successful, has a nice house, and car, and her swag is on 1000.
    This is sadly the reality in todays society, and this is why actual good, decent, women with good hearts never seem to attract good, kind caring, professional men; only scrubs.

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