Ask Single Dating Diva: Dirty Mind or Sexy Imagination?

Sometimes someone says something to us … perhaps an off color joke or something that seems funny, but maybe a little inappropriate given the context, like the first date for instance.  Could their constant dirty jokes and comments mean something more? Like perhaps they are perverts? Or do they just have no social graces?  That’s what one of my readers was wondering after a recent first date gone wrong.  Enjoy!

dirty-mindDear Single Dating Diva,

Recently, I met a guy that I really liked.  He’s attractive, charming and well put together.  We chatted for a bit and he asked me out for a drink and I said yes.  We went out that following weekend and all seemed well, until he started with the dirty jokes and remarks.  I brushed the first one off because I thought maybe he was nervous, but they kept coming.  He also started making comments about my body and asking how I was in bed, things I think are inappropriate on the first date.  Needless to say, I wasn’t impressed.  When he asked me out again I said I wasn’t interested, I told him why and he said that he didn’t have a dirty mind he had a sexy imagination.  Am I overreacting or was he being inappropriate? Should I give him another chance?


Playing It Clean

Dear Playing It Clean,

Thank you for your email and your question.  I can see why you were put off by this guy and why you are not interested in seeing him again.  He just “rubbed you the wrong way” … figuratively of course 😉

Dirty Mind or Sexy Imagination

sexy-imaginationA first date is about making a good impression, it’s also about determining if you want to pursue something with this person or not.  This man obviously didn’t make a good impression.  I would have to agree that he was inappropriate.  There is no room for dirty anything on the first date … unless of course that’s what you’re looking for.  Most probably he was trying to impress you with his wit and humor but ended up having the opposite affect.  I would say for this guy … perhaps it’s a dirty mind, not a sexy imagination.  A dirty mind is having naughty thoughts and associating sexual things with everyday objects and occurrences, particularly inappropriately.  It’s kind of fun to have that with someone that you’re with as an inside joke between you or for sexual innuendo … but everything has a time and place and the first date ISN’T the time, nor is it the place, for these things.  Besides, most dirty jokes don’t have a right time or place, so better to not go there.

Sexy imaginations come in very handy and are more appropriate because it involves enhancing sexual satisfaction with yourself or a partner.  The imagination is a very powerful tool when it comes to sex and will most definitely improve your sex life.  It helps set the mood and helps you visualize what you want to do and how you want to do it.  It’s very very sexy.  Fantasy makes everything better.  There’s just no place for it on a first date.  Save something for later … focus on getting to know each other … likes, dislikes … hobbies … travel … favorite places.  Nothing wrong with fantasizing about the person you’re on a date with … you will need to be attracted to them in every way, just keep the sex talk to yourself.

That being said, I think you made the right decision by not going out with him again.  Why? Because he made you uncomfortable and didn’t meet your needs in a partner.  You are right to question his lack of etiquette and social graces.

Thanks again for your question, I hope this helps!

Readers what do you think? Does this guy have a dirty mind or a sexy imagination? Have you been in this situation before? How did you handle it?

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva



  1. I vote for “sexy imagination” with the affliction of diarrhea of the mouth. We all want to fill those blank spaces in conversations with pithy remarks. My question – is this guy any worst than the ones that are full of superlatives and go on and on about how beautiful you are… over use the words sweetie, honey and sexy. Or the ones that put on that “perfect man” façade with a fancy car and jive talk about how smart they are and how great a job they have….. blah blah blah 🙂 The only waste of time item I see in her question, she did not owe him any explanation, other than the obvious – she did not feel they were a match. We all meet people that just “rub us the wrong way” … just move on


  2. I agree that he went way too far. You can’t have a “sexy imagination” with someone you just met. That kind of stuff is reserved for people who have decided to be intimate. Dude was way off base in my opinion and she did right to leave him alone. He seemed to be all about the physical.


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