How do you really know if the person you’ve been dating is “meet the parents” worthy? I struggle with that sometimes. Not too long ago, I had to make that decision, and, ultimately chose against it (which ended up being the right decision – good old gut instinct never fails!). He proved himself, after many good months together, to be flaky and unreliable … and, frankly a coward (one of those that runs at the first sign of you needing them). But, how DO you really know if the person you’re dating is “meet the parents” worthy? I think, your willingness to introduce them perhaps is a telltale sign of its own. Well this topic is something I’ve given a lot of thought to recently.
Is The Person You’re Dating “Meet the Parents” Worthy?
Because of my ethnic background, meeting the parents means a whole different thing than to the average person (those of you from ethnic backgrounds would agree I’m sure … think Big Fat Greek Wedding). Add to that me being divorced and “bringing home the wrong person” to the equation. That means there’s a little extra pressure for me. I don’t even mention people I’m dating to my parents unless it’s something potentially serious. I mean why bother? Until I know someone is here to stay, at least for an extended period of time, I don’t want to “go there”. But how do you really know they are “meet the parents” worthy? You listen to your gut instincts that’s how! Studies have shown that “the top reasons behind hiding a partner from parents include fearing that parents will disapprove and not wanting to be serious with the partner“. Yup, that sounds about right. Your gut instinct is your primary indicator for everything in your relationship! Think about it, you should be excited about introducing a partner to your family and friends, not hesitant. Right? Right.
How to Make the Experience a Positive One
Once you do decide to introduce your partner to your parents, just keep in mind that it’s going to be an anxious experience for both sides. Give your partner some hints on what to do and what not to do … everyone’s family is different and what’s acceptable for some may not be for others. My parents are more on the conservative, traditional side so I make sure that’s clear to anyone I introduce to them. Off color jokesters need not apply. If they make a good first impression it will have much more favorable outcomes for future encounters than if the first meeting was unpleasant. Your family is an essential part of your life, as is your partner, so a harmonious relationship all around will make your life that much easier.
One of the things I look for in a partner is if they can fit in with my family. My family plays a very large role in my life, not my decisions, but my life in general. This not only includes my parents, but my brother and his family, my aunts and uncles, my cousins … I have a BIG family and they are loud and crazy (gee I wonder where I get it!) and I love them and they are oh so important to me. My ex husband didn’t fit in at all and family gatherings were very awkward and annoying. This is why I am very careful about the choices I make in my partners. I want them to enjoy my family as much as I do and vice versa.
So is the person you’re dating “meet the parents” worthy? Well, you decide … are you ready for that step? What does your gut instinct tell you? You’ll know when it’s time and when you’re ready … so don’t rush it. Social Psychologist Dr. DiDonato said it best “if the prospect of meeting your partner’s family now seems incredibly intimidating, take comfort in the idea that a “meet the parents” event is, in and of itself, a good sign for your relationship. Both men and women introduce their dating partners to parents when they are ready to gain their parent’s approval and want to signal to their partner that they are serious about the relationship.” So when you’re ready then do it and go in proudly and with a positive attitude and hope for the best!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Meeting ‘the rents’ can be a scary experience. I remember the first time I met my partners Dad – scared the living crap out of me…however a bottle of wine later it was all ok.
Great tips – wish I’d seen this a little while ago!
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