Taking the Breakup Plunge
Being in love is easier than maintaining it as a long term relationship. Ideally, a healthy relationship ensures a happy long journey till the end. Sometimes, that’s not the case, and it might become harder to drag the relationship on further. That is the moment to choose whether to still hang on or drop the bomb and run. The situation can also turn worse if one is not aware of the consequences. Taking the breakup plunge, if done right, will ensure that the situation doesn’t end up worse than it has to be. Below are some tips to help make the process a little easier.
When to Press the Panic Button
It is always hard to start a break up conversation with your partner, especially with someone you once loved , shared all the moments from your life. But, when you decided to press the panic button and make your partner aware that the relationship is no longer going to continue, make sure you have your reasons and let you partner know that you have a made a final decision of breaking up. Be firm on your decision.
There are few steps that you need to follow before communicating your decision to your partner.
1. Ask yourself WHY? Is it because of a temporary problem that is going on right now in your lives. Try not to get yourself confused. Clear your mind, make yourself get into your partner’s shoes and think because at the end you have to be as honest and determined as you were when you started the relationship.
2. Make a list of all the possible reasons and solutions which have led you to take this decision. Also, try to give a second thought to your current relationship and question yourself whether there is still a last chance to save from break up. This helps you in freeing your mind to make the right decision.
3. Try to end the relationship in such a way that no problems would arise in the future. Feel positive of your decision and be ready to answer all possible questions that your partner might ask you. Planning what you’re going to say ahead could also make things easier.
4. Be straightforward and communicate your decision firmly. Do not let emotions find their way into your final conversation. Try not to cut off the conversation and leave, instead, try to end the discussion smoothly and as positively as possible.
Meet in Person
Choosing the right venue to meet up and discuss the final terms of your break up could be very critical. This helps in ensuring the break up meet doesn’t turn negative. Choose a neutral place, either of your houses are not an ideal venue for this kind of conversation. A really convenient place to chat is a public park as it is safe and you can both walk and talk through your breakup with ease.
Keep it Short and Simple (K.I.S.S.)
You made your decision of breaking up. So no turning back. Make sure that the conversation stays short and simple. Leave your partner as soon as you end the conversation. Do not give away hints that things can be sorted out in the near future and you both can get back once again. This factor ensures to avoid painful moments to both of you. End it once and for all.
You do not need to spend a lot of time convincing your partner that the breakup is the best option. Just stick to your points and no need to keep repeating. Give reasons why the relationship is not going to work anymore between both of you and never play the blame game during the break up discussion because it won’t help.
Control Your Emotions
It’s a very emotional state that you have to go through when breaking up with the person you loved and shared happy moments of your life. The early stage of break up is the hardest time and sometimes could be devastating. So try to control all of your emotions and do not think over-think it.
Get Back to Your Life
Now that you are single again, try spending more time and energy on yourself, building yourself. Give more time to your interests and hobbies. Open yourself to a new relationship. Feel positive towards your life and be ready to find a better person who might end up to be the actual soul mate that you have been waiting for all your life.
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I had to do this to a guy I was dating. He was wonderful and the best boyfriend ever but I knew he wasn’t for me. We are friends and he is married and I know this works best for us. Yes it hurt at the time, especially for him but I knew we were too different.
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