Online Dating and All You Are Getting Are Textationships?

online-dating-textationshipSo you’re online dating, enjoying the ride, meeting lots of great people … ONLINE. Person after person, it rarely amounts to a date, forget a relationship … what is it? Wait for it … it’s a “textationship”. Yup, one of those. What a waste of time. When you could be spending your valuable time meeting someone WORTH your time, you have this ongoing textationship with someone. What is a textationship exactly? Well, a textationship is a relationship that is online only, not face-to-face, not on the telephone, just texting or messaging back and forth. It feels like a relationship because you discuss your life in a meaningful way and perhaps have some intimate moments, but it isn’t real because it never amounts to anything solid. It’s like you’re in the land of make believe, pretending you are in a relationship when really you’re not. For some people this works, for most people, though, textationships are BIG RED FLAG!

Online Dating and All You Are Getting Are Textationships?

textationship-definitionTextationships can be fun for a while, but, they aren’t viable and they are a big fat waste of your time. They typically don’t last long and fizzle out on their own, but, sometimes they can last a while. The problem is, they aren’t real and the longer to maintain them, the more you get used to them and perhaps get emotionally attached. But, it’s up to you whether or not you let this happen. However, you need to be fully aware of the red flags associated with someone who is an avid texter but who delays meeting up with you (even if it’s ALWAYS a good excuse).

Textationships Are Red Flags

Why textationship is a BIG RED FLAG:

  • they could be hiding something, perhaps they are already in a relationship with someone or have something wrong with them physically (they don’t look like their picture)
  • they could be emotionally unavailable
  • they could be scamming or catfishing you
  • they could be talking to several people at the same time and you’re just one of them
  • they could be just looking for an ego boost or attention
  • they could be looking for someone who isn’t you, you don’t do it for them, but they still like talking to you and have friend zoned you
  • they could be looking to add to their sexting pictures database

How To Avoid Textationships

  • if they never want to meet in person, or they make dates but cancel and reschedule and cancel again, even for good reasons, then cut it off, if someone is serious about meeting someone they will actually meet them in person within a couple weeks of meeting online
  • I advise people to have adequate pictures on their online dating profile and not send anymore via text/message, tell them they will see you in person when they set a date
  • don’t go on and on in messages, use texting for minimal conversation, touch base, confirmations until you meet in person
  • don’t send intimate information or pictures of yourself, remember this person is a stranger, even if you “connected on so many levels”
  • don’t believe everything they say to you, they could be sincere or they could be a con artist, you don’t know so meet up in person as soon as possible

Textationships, unfortunately, are a reality of online dating the digital age and it’s up to you how far you’ll let it go and be aware of potential red flags. Dating can be fun and it can be a great experience, it is what you make it, just remember to date smart.

READERS: Are you guilty of having one too many textationships? Tell us about your experience in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

10 comments

  1. Online dating, I post in my profile that I do not like to communicate via text or e mail. When I give my number they disappear. I have had guys text me which I do not respond to. It is in my profile that I would rather talk to someone. They NEVER call. This lame texting and e mail is making meeting anyone almost impossible today.

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  2. All good points, but if you are in a textationship, then all of the above points could also be leveled at you. You are in control and decide how long it goes on for… or doesn’t. Have boundaries before you begin. It is harder to put them in place once everything has started to happen. I like what Ann said above about setting out her stall in advance. I would disagree that it makes it impossible though. It’s all about having a plan to weeding out the time wasters and not being in a rush.

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    • Hi Keith. I actually stated that texting/e mails make it almost impossible not totally. Just from my experience, I’d rather have a conversation quickly so it can be decided if both parties want to meet. Text/ email does not get to the point quick enough or at all.

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  3. don’t send intimate information or pictures of yourself, remember this person is a stranger, even if you “connected on so many levels” haha great post.

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  4. A ‘textationship’ 🙂 …I would say it means they just don’t like you enough to pick up the phone and call you and meet you either for the first time or again. They the like the attention, but they are not committed to you. I guess we have all been there. Matt

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  5. I really appreciate the wisdom in this piece – particularly how technology can be a blessing or a curse when it comes to dating. I recently published an article about how technology degrades the relationship and makes them simply a result of whim and impulsivity. When we can put the value back into the relationship, we can hopefully improve the quality and the experience.

    I think you might enjoy reading this as a great follow up. Thanks again for a wonderful post!
    Ari

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