Some people ruin their own happy ending even when they think the partner that they found is already “the one”. Why? Two things—either they get all too excited and rush in without considering some very important details about actually living with someone or they are too skeptical not knowing what details they must actually watch out for.
Being with someone is not only about falling in love even though we wish it is. But don’t fret—here is a run-down of some things that you may want to consider before handing someone the keys to your apartment or saying “I do”.
5 Things You Need to Consider Before Saying “I Do”
1. Prenuptial Agreement
Times are changing and gone are the days when couples would say “what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine”. A prenuptial agreement or prenup is a contract declaring an inventory of each spouse’s properties and financial assets that may be deemed useful in the event of a divorce. Some people tend to think of it as a selfish division of assets with the wealthier one wanting to protect his own but when you thoroughly consider it, it’s actually for the best of both parties to come with a declaration such as this when love and trust are still prevalent in the relationship as compared to battling it out when the couple decides to call it quits. Not everyone is well informed about the ins and outs of contracts so better consult reputable family lawyers instead of your chit-chatty coworker or a drunk friend.
2. Old Baggage
Pieces from their past that they cannot totally leave there. Do they talk about having a child with an ex-lover or spouse? What is their current situation with the estranged husband or wife? If you are dating at a late age, you are most likely to come across single parents, if not fall for one. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. Single parents are good examples of people who have the courage to stand by themselves and assume responsibility. You just have to be ready to embrace the fact that even if you may be a priority, you are to share their attention and time. Eventually, you are to share with your spouse a bit of their responsibility as well.
3. Vices or Addictions
Any vices that your future husband or wife may have that has gone out of control at one point or another. Perhaps a drinking or a gambling problem and how have they dealt with it, or if they are still actually dealing with it. Worse, if they completely deny that they have any vices but their Facebook statuses or Twitter posts are screaming evidences of the said problem.
4. Abusive or Violent Tendencies
This does not mean having to go through their criminal records. Well, you may if you wish to but you can also take note of the way they handle stressful situations. Little disruptions in their regular routine and how they react to it is key to getting to know their temperamental side. Do they start cursing when caught in a heavy traffic? Have they threatened to physically hurt you or themselves when they thought you were cheating? Don’t miss out on the red flags that tell of how aggressive a person may be when under great anxiety.
5. Mental Health
Mental health is an issue that is brushed quite well under the rug when two people are only starting to date. Who wants to talk about how cracked they are when they’re at the stage of trying to sound impressive. It will be good to find a way to talk about past experiences that may lead them to open up and help you understand if they actually have mental health problems.
Something else to keep in mind is their bad household habits that may actually be one or two of your pet peeves. We are talking about the stuff that you don’t see when you’re out watching a movie or dining out with them. Rather, the things that they unconsciously do when they’re at home and no one is looking. Things like leaving unwashed dishes at the sink overnight, not flushing the toilet after use, complete disarray of clothes in the closet while the used ones are scattered all over the bedroom floor. Remember the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff” but if you’re the one to deal with all those tiny annoying things day after day, it won’t take long before they all pile up. Staying at their apartment for a night or two may be key. Spend at least 24 hours to get to know the one you are planning to spend the rest of your days with.
It’s not wrong to have weak spots because nobody is perfect. Getting to thoroughly know your partner, however, would be a lot of help though to keep both of you in tune with each other and your relationship stronger.