Don’t Play Hard To Get … Be Hard To Forget

How many times have you heard that you need to play hard to get? That in order to keep someone interested you have to make them work for it.  Apparently being too eager and actually showing you’re interested is a bad idea and it scares people off.  So is it true? Does playing hard to get actually work?  Is that the secret to finding your very own happily ever after?  I say NO WAY!!  You don’t need to play hard to get to find lasting love BUT you need to be hard to forget!!

Why You Don’t Need To Play Hard To Get

When you’ve met someone new and you really like them it’s easy to get excited, especially if they like you too.  You want to start planning your happily forever after but everyone tells you that you should let them sweat before letting them know your true feelings.  That you should let them work for it.  They tell you that this person will appreciate you more if they have to chase you.  You are told that people love the chase, that they love the challenge.  That if you make it too easy they will lose interest.  So, you do that, you play hard to get and make them chase you and they chase.  Then you decide to let them catch you and then, they lose interest and disappear.  Wait a minute? You thought they wanted you, what happened? Because they loved the chase, once they caught their prey they lost interest.  Some people are like that, it’s just how they are.  You can’t change them.  So what do you do?  How do you avoid people like that?

Being Hard to Forget

The key is not playing games. People who “love the chase” aren’t looking for anything real, they’re looking to play. I’ve tried both playing hard to get and being a willing eager participant.  Which one worked better? Neither! Why? Because you don’t need to play hard to get nor should you play easy to get or too eager, so what then? Be hard to forget! Be yourself! Give them a reason to want to see you and speak to you again!  Do you like someone? Then act like it.  Don’t throw yourself at them but don’t give them a hard time either. Have your own life, your life shouldn’t centre on them but always remain consistent with them.  What does that mean?  You don’t need to act a certain way to keep them interested.  Playing games isn’t necessary, actually, playing games will only cause you grief and give off the WRONG impression.

What you should do is be hard to forget.  Be someone who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to go for it. Leave something to the imagination and show them why you’re so interesting. Know yourself, share your experiences and what you are passionate about. Always look your best and show your most attractive self. If you’re a positive person who’s excited about their life then potential partners will be excited about you too!  Should you make it too easy for them? No! You want to act normal and enjoy the process, forgetting about the outcome.  Take it slow and get to know each other.  Always remember that if someone wants to be with you then they will be with you regardless if you are playing hard to get or if you are demonstrating your interest by lavishing your affection on them – no games necessary.

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Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Originally appeared on eHarmony Canada.

One comment

  1. I always hate the comments about playing hard to get. My experience has been when I played hard to get the guys I liked gave up. Meanwhile the guys I didn’t like (and I wasn’t playing hard to get, telling them I was not interested) thought I was playing hard to get and pursued me though I made it clear this would never change. I’m not saying of course bending over backwards, but being yourself.


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