Online Dating? Studies Say Your Looks Matter A LOT!


Hoping that your winning personality will snag you the love of your life? Studies have concluded that online dating and the digital world have made mixed-attractiveness couples are a rare occurrence these days. Image matters, especially in this highly competitive dating world. When online dating, people see your picture first and if it’s not one that captures their attention, they’re going to move on to the next and pass you by, regardless of what a great catch you are. Even the dating sites base their recommendations on people they think you’d find attractive. So what do you do? Well, you make sure you market yourself in the best way possible, that’s what!

Online Dating? Studies Say Your Looks Matter A LOT!

With online dating, you really don’t get a second chance to make a good first impression. Essentially, you’re being judged for your looks. If the person finds you attractive and appealing they’ll click on your profile and learn more about you. Same goes for if you’re in public and see someone you find attractive, you don’t know what they are like personally, but what you see you find appealing. This is why, with dating, image is everything!! You have to be dateable to be successful when dating and to find your very own happily ever after. More and more, I am meeting so many people who are sabotaging their dating life because they refuse to update their image and fine tune their social skills. They don’t think there’s anything wrong with them and think someone should just accept them the way they are. But that’s the wrong attitude to have, be yourself, yes, but be the best version of yourself. If you don’t market yourself properly then you’re doomed in the competitive dating world, sorry to say.

Mixed-attractiveness couples, according to these studies, especially online, are much less common than they used to be when people grew up together and ended up with their school sweethearts that they got to know over time. I’ve written about what I like to call “interfacial” relationships.  They’re definitely few and far between, not impossible, but definitely the exception. We all like to think we can date out of our league because we’ve got so much to offer, but, the reality is that it’s very difficult and rare. So what you CAN do is be who you want to date. If you want to date someone who’s very well dressed and attractive, then be well dressed and attractive yourself. Looks matter, plain and simple. Definitely, do bring your “A Game” to every encounter, especially in your online dating profile. You really can’t afford not to.

Opposites DON’T Attract – Both in Looks & Life

According to academics interested in dating, it’s well established that “opposites attract” is a myth. Study after study supports the idea of “assortative mating”: the hypothesis that people generally date and marry partners who are like them in terms of social class, educational background, race, personality, and, of course, attractiveness.” So there you have it, opposites don’t attract, they may at the beginning for the sake of novelty, but in the end you forge long-lasting relationships with people who have similar interests, lives and values. That makes a lot of sense in my own life and my own experiences as well. Things should just flow easily with someone, you shouldn’t have to struggle in any way. It’s great to have different pastimes and interests but as long as they’re complimentary then you should do well. For example, if one person is extremely athletic and you’re a couch potato (even if you’re a HOT couch potato) then it’s really not going to be an easy ride.

All this may seem harsh but really it’s not, you need to take marketing yourself really seriously, you really do. I can’t stress that enough.

READERS: What do you think about all this? Do looks matter? Do you think opposites attract? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. I agree completely. I think this is important to remember when someone rejects you for looks. I admit I am superficial and if I find a guy ugly I won’t be interested. Harsh perhaps but I have experience where I dated ugly men because I assumed they would be nice and they were the worst boyfriends. Because of that I have no interest in men I find unattractive. Yet for some reason I got hundreds of messages from the ugliest men possible. I’m not ugly so why they even thought I would be interested who knows. I’d be polite and say no and they got mad. To me ugly men (and I’m talking guys for the most part who could change, like take showers)are not appealing and nasty why would I consider them?


  2. They should also take into account interesting pictures. Even if I find a guy less attractive, if he’s interesting, showing a quirky personality in his pictures then I’m more likely to want to talk to him and see if we have anything in common. Also, just because you’re showing yourself in the best possible light, you still need to be accurate and real – no one wants to get stood up on a first date because the guy walks by and thinks you don’t look a thing like your pictures.


    • Yeah the photos where the person looks nothing alike. Drove me nuts. When I did online last time I literally put up photos I had just taken with my webcam. Saved me a lot of trouble. If I was to do online again I would definitely Skype because then you can see what they look like now, not to mention if you click.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I can’t agree more! It’s vital to have recent pictures on your profile. My biggest complaint about online dating was that most guys looked nothing like what I was expecting. For me that says they can’t be trusted. I’d expect a guy to be angry if I showed up weighing 100 lbs more and looking 20 years older than my picture.

    By the same token, I’ve met men that looked way better than their picture so it’s important to consider other factors and not just focus on looks. Remember, looks fade! I myself find I’m not photogenic and I’m far from perfect so I will allow a guy some latitude. At the end of the day I want someone honest with substance that’s going to treat me well, being good looking doesn’t guarantee that.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Everything is about marketing to your target audience. I have 1225 likes on one dating site & over 1000 on another. I’m 50 years old but look like I’m in my 30’s. My profile picture is all American. I’m wearing a baseball hat with my glove and I have a big warm smile. My profile is upbeat with a humorous take. Guys love it. The question now becomes who do I choose?


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