Can Interfacial Relationships Work?

OK so we’ve all seen that ugly woman with the gorgeous man … or even the gorgeous woman with the ugly man … AND we’ve all given it a double take … we had to look twice and wondered what the hell is HE doing with HER???  First thought that comes to mind is unattractive guy must be rich and generous or unattractive woman must be really good in bed hoover style.  You know I’m right!  One guy I’ve had an eternal crush on has a relationship with a very unattractive women (actually for the longest time I thought she might be a man).  She has “boyish good looks with a boyish figure” and he likes to gravitate to and is very attracted to beautiful curvy women when he’s not with her, well even when he’s with her.  Explain that one to me?!  How about one other couple I know, he is wealthy hollywood-esque hotness and she, well, let’s say she’s homely, socially awkward and picks her nose in public – he bought her a very expensive car recently.  Hmmm … back to the topic at hand … can these interfacial relationships work? In other words, is love really that blind?

Interfacial Relationships

interfacial relationshipI’m of the opinion that looks do matter, as does attraction.  Actually, physical attraction is a requirement.  I really don’t care what anyone tells you … if someone isn’t attracted to you on the get go then the whole thing is doomed.  Your killer personality isn’t going to get you anywhere in the dating world.  I talked about it in my post Is Love Blind? Do Looks Actually Matter?.  We see it on TV, in the movies and everywhere, the attractive person is the one everyone wants to be with, it’s the one they choose.  That being said, attraction means different things to different people.  Someone might just find their partner attractive while everyone else doesn’t … there is SOMETHING about them.  What do I say to that? Well, why the hell not!

Can You Date Up?

I will be the first to admit that I’ve had some very unattractive men who have wanted to date me but because I really don’t find them attractive in any way, I have turned them down.  I know, bad Suzie.  But, physical attraction is extremely important to me.  They don’t have to be the most attractive man in the world but they DO have to be attractive to me.  I have to want to jump their bones, no doubt about it!!  Now, let’s all be honest here, who doesn’t want the partner that’s arm candy?  The partner that everyone will be jealous of? We all do, but there are more important things, so as long as I’m attracted to them and they have, I mean are, a good package then we’re good to go.

If someone is “out of my league” looks wise, I usually don’t go there … I don’t want to risk rejection.  Many women and men do attempt the date up and end up rejected and feeling like the scum of the earth and hate every single man or woman in the world because of it.  Well, perhaps, just perhaps, if we dated within our league we wouldn’t have that problem.  So, I don’t recommend attempting the date up, or have low expectations when trying.

Back to our question, can interfacial relationships work or are they doomed to fail? Sure they can work, don’t they say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, so if the couple doesn’t care about what anyone else has to say it might just be a success, but, as we all know, society in general will judge, let’s be honest.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your opinion in the comments!! Have you been in an interfacial relationship?

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva



  1. Yes of course you have to be physically attracted to the person. But don’t dump on someone so fast.

    I’ve know some “beautiful, gorgeous” people who are actually total dogs because they have an attitude, an ego and a personality that go nowhere. On the flipside, some of the most beautiful people ever aren’t now and will never be supermodels.

    Very sad SDD, you may have missed out on the man of your dreams because he didn’t meet your minimal, superficial standards.


    • Thanks for your comment! Yes, just because someone is gorgeous doesn’t make them an ideal partner, I didn’t say that at all. However, you cannot deny that being at least a little physically attracted to someone is crucial. I might have missed out on a great guy, but he can’t be the man of my dreams if I can’t even picture myself holding his hand or even touching him, can he? They certainly aren’t minimal or superficial standards at all, would you date someone that grossed you out? I highly doubt it. Thanks again for reading and for your comment!!


  2. Well attraction is mostly mental after the initial viewing, spark can be created pretty quickly… Hence why people on different attractiveness scales get together. Btw, I was thinking about you earlier, I have a book recommendation for you 🙂


  3. It’s not looks that make interfacial relationships succeed or crash and’s confidence! The seeds of insecurity will devour a relationship and lead to infidelity or possessiveness. There was a recent study that revealed that the “less” attractive person in a relationship is more likely to cheat! The premise: a more attractive person is already aware of their options and has most likely explored them before committing. A less attractive person has little experience and would cheat in order to validate their feeling of insecurity or to take advantage of an opportunity they may never have had before or will see again. Once again…it’s about confidence not looks. Great post, Diva!


  4. Agree to a certain extent but I certainly couldn’t fancy someone gorgeous but dim. Intelligence and wit are almost as important (to me) as looks.

    Also confidence = attractiveness as someone else has said. Self confidence affects how you present yourself to others and the world in general and affects how attractive you are perceived by others (I think). Do you remember girls at school or at Uni who were averagely attractive but who seemed to get all the guys? That is to do with confidence rather than guys seeing something we can’t.


  5. First of all, I think that women tend to believe that they are less attractive than they actually are. Saying that “society in general will judge, let’s be honest” and that women should “have low expectations when trying” to date up just feeds into this insecurity. Don’t you think that it could be empowering to date someone who is “out of your league?” The way I look at it, this person is able to see you in a light that you aren’t able to see yourself.


  6. I reckon it’s far more common to see a good looking woman with an average bloke than the other way around. I don’t know I’ve been out with a few really good looking guys, plenty of normal looking ones and a few not so good looking ones, and it really doesn’t make much difference in the end. I think if someone is really cool and fun and you hit it off they become attractive. One of the best looking guys I have ever seen had the personality if an old sock, and became, less attractive because of it.


  7. SDD, you’re DEAD ON.
    I’ve made the mistake of going out with a guy who had a GREAT personality, great values and all…but I never was attracted…not one bit. Never told him because I didn’t want to crush him and I felt so bad. When we broke up, I used all the things that could bother me about him but never mentioned the attractiveness which was a huge reason for calling it quit. I WILL NEVER make that mistake again. You’re totally right. No matter how likeable the person is, if you’re not attracted, well you just aren’t. I did everything to find him attractive; I was literally trying to brainwash myself but feeling attracted to someone isn’t only a matter of the brain. Don’t listen to all those people who are writing comments about how intellectually it matters just as much and how personality can make up for a lack of attractiveness…those people are either hypocrites or too kind to tell it like it is. We all hate that nature works that way but it just does.
    Thanks for your truthfulness.


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