How Do You Know You’re Dating the “Real Deal”?


While some people date for the fun of it, most people are in it to find a lasting companionship and commitment with someone. But how do you know that you’re dating the real deal or if you’re just wasting your time? Well, there are some tell-tale signs. Those people just “faking it” are the exception to the rule. The majority of people AREN’T out to get you or play you. The problem is that often times we ignore red flags from the beginning because of whatever reason – loneliness, boredom, the person has a “star quality” (my weakness!) or you really like them BUT are they the “real deal”? Often times probably not. While I don’t believe in the concept of “the one” or “the other half”, I truly believe you do “just know” when you meet someone, especially the older you get. So how do you know you’re dating the “real deal”? Read on to find out!

How Do You Know You’re Dating the “Real Deal”?

How do you know? You just KNOW! Yes, you do. I’m not talking fireworks or “insta-relationship”, what I’m talking about is just feeling something is right. It just fits. It’s comfortable. It’s drama free. You don’t think about it or question it because it just falls into place. Sound familiar? Anyone who’s dating knows that some dates flow quite naturally while others are disasters from the beginning. That’s the easy part to decipher, but what’s next? There are many things that go into a successful relationship such as respect, trust, and passion but the “real deal” has some initial key ingredients, here are my 5 “C’s” for deciphering the “real deal”:

  1. Consistency – the person is always consistent with you and doesn’t send mixed messages (consistently inconsistent doesn’t count!), they do what they say they’re going to do (no empty promises) and you can always count on them
  2. Click – you just click with the person, you can’t explain it but the puzzle piece just fits without you even trying, your mind and heart are in sync on this one, you just KNOW
  3. Communication – interacting with them is easy, you feel that you can share anything with them and they with you, there is trust and openness and transparency, there is no need to hide anything or for secrecy because you can share anything with them
  4. Contact – you don’t have to sit there looking at your phone wondering and stressing about why they don’t return your messages, you can reach them when you need to and they respond in a reasonable amount of time, they send you messages when they are thinking of you or even good morning and/or good night messages, they also WANT to spend time with you, they CHOOSE you time and again
  5. Clarity – all of sudden you just “get it”, you know what you’ve been missing because you suddenly have peace of mind, you’re treated the way you deserve to be treated and things just fall into place easily, it still takes some work but it’s the minor “getting to know you” stuff

These 5 C’s are the basics to building a healthy foundation for a relationship. They are essential building blocks for a solid foundation. They are how you know you’re dating the “real deal”!

Can You Ruin the “Real Deal”?

While you can’t ever be 100% certain something is going to work out, you can definitely do things to sabotage it once you’ve found something good. How to ruin the “real deal” is by being too eager. I know you may be thinking, well if they’re the real deal then they won’t run away, right? WRONG! While some people like rushing into things, most don’t, especially people who have been burned before. Although you are tempted to just jump into things, especially if you have an amazing connection, you should put the brakes on and get to know each other in a real way, remember that slow and steady wins the race and NOT a whirlwind romance! It’s easy to get caught up but you’re not doing yourself any favors. I’ve seen (and experienced) many times where people are scared off by something that starts off intense, plus, a fire the burns real hot real fast will die out fast as well. A fire that you build over time and keep adding kindling to will have longevity. Also, when you slow the pace you are more aware of any red flags and potential issues, so instead of letting all the love hormones take over, you need to enjoy the process. Everything goes where it’s supposed to go when it’s supposed to go there. What’s the rush? Don’t ruin the “real deal” by being too eager. Real love will still be there and will be stronger when you take your time. Try it and see.

READERS: How do you know you’re dating the “real deal”? Have you ever gotten too caught up and mistaken someone for the “real deal”? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva 


  1. Like you always say,if people wants to be with you they will. Its true we need to allow love flow naturally.


    • That’s right … sometimes we spend too much time and energy focusing on the person who doesn’t want to be with us rather than using that time and energy to find the real deal! I know I was guilty of that for a long time. When I let that go I found the real deal.


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