How many times have you met someone and just loved spending time with them? So much so that you couldn’t get enough … it was borderline addiction! They were everything you never knew you were missing. You were convinced you hit the jackpot – fun, great sense of humor, crazy attractive, passionate, intelligent, did I mention great kisser? Then … out of nowhere BAM it’s over and it leaves you feeling dazed and confused. Wait a minute, wasn’t that JUST the best thing that ever happened to me? Where did it go? What did I do wrong? But I thought it was going PERFECTLY! What. The. F. Ya, well what you had there my friends is a “whirlwind romance“. You know the one, comes in like a cyclone and shakes up your world, takes you to Oz and then crashes down right on top of you. Ya, that. I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt and never learned my lesson. It’s a great feeling to be caught up in all that great romantic energy … even though I always remain cautiously optimistic, I’m guilty of it. What I learned though is that in dating, slow and steady wins the race and NOT a whirlwind romance!
In Dating, Slow and Steady Wins the Race
We’re conditioned to believe in fairy tales. You know the ones, the prince saves the princess and they instantly fall in love and live happily ever after. There’s no courting, there’s no earning your trust, there’s no brains … it’s all heart, your emotions win out and it’s supposed to just work out because, after all, you get along so amazingly well, right? WRONG! Unfortunately, life doesn’t work out that way. Shocker, I know. Sorry to burst your bubble. But let’s look at it this way, when you move a little slower you get to know someone in a REAL way. You get to be a part of their life in a more realistic way. You also get to know the real them, seeing them in different environments with different types of people and in different situations. Red flags certainly become more apparent. In essence, you will make a more informed decision about whether or not you want to be with this person and not only if they are a good fit in your life, you both will know if you are a good fit in their life as well.
What If You Feel a Whirlwind Romance Coming On?
It’s so easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new dating adventure that you miss out on what’s really important … the person themselves. Sometimes the fire burns too fast and too hot and all of a sudden you find yourself seeing each other more often than not, talking to each other every day and taking it to the next level before you’re ready to. I know what you’re thinking, that happened with someone you know or heard of and they lived happily ever after, but we all know that is the exception to the rule. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement, but what’s wrong with playing with a level head and toning down your enthusiasm? I’m not saying play hard to get, I’m saying just take it slow and get to know each other. You’ll end up with one of two things, a solid relationship or realizing they really weren’t the right one for you.
People just LOVE that feeling you get when you meet someone new that you really like. It’s a thrill like no other, I get it. That “new relationship smell” is so addictive that people want to do it over and over again not realizing the potential consequences of their actions. Someone inevitably gets hurt because they believe what you had was real when in reality you were just enjoying the high. So it’s both people’s responsibility to avoid unnecessary hurt and pain … enjoy each other’s company, get to know each other in a real way and move into a healthy, happy relationship or go your separate ways. In dating, slow and steady REALLY DOES win the race.
READERS: Have you ever been caught up in a whirlwind romance only to crash and burn? Or has your whirlwind romance worked out? Have you found slow and steady worked better for you? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
This is my current situation and I want to run like hell!
Allof my whirlwind romances ended soon after because all that was there was lust. People discredit it but I’m a firm believer in friends first.
Good word, as usual, SDD. Not sure I would go as far as to say that all whirlwind romances will inevitably fail, but you are right that it is wise to slow things down and see what’s real. People often make the mistake of thinking that they HAVE to have a whirlwind romance for a relationship to be good. Not so. Patience almost always pays off!
I think your blog posts are fantastic, but i’m not sure whirlwind romances are as bad as you make out…
If two people think each other are fantastic, they’ll stick together regardless of whether they took things fast or slow.
If anything, a whirlwind romance is an efficient way to separate the keepers from the fun hook-ups.
Better to know sooner rather than later, right? Especially for you ladies with your biological clocks…
Either way, nice post. I’ll be sharing with my Twitter followers for sure.
The London Dater.
Wow! This is something that is currently happening to me I feel like crap I thought this person was the one I feel lied to by all the things that were said to me. As much as I don’t trust anyone now it’s just got worse when it comes to dating or getting to know someone. Right now I’m just distancing myself and be more about me. Sometimes I just feel like running somewhere far where no one knows anything about me
Hmmm…. this post/article completely contradicts this other one: The Wow Factor in Dating
Either the SDD had a complete change of heart/strategy, or is this a case of flip-flop…? 😉
Thanks for your comment and being such an avid reader 😉 Actually it’s not contradictory at all! We still want that wow, the fireworks, the passion but you also need to take it slow in the process of how things develop. Thanks again!
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