8 First Date Problems Solved By Skype: Guest Post

first-date-skypeImagine. You’re still frazzled after rushing home from work and frantically getting ready for another date. The butterflies inhabiting your stomach mean you aren’t the slightest bit hungry and you’re petrified that the first whiff of alcohol will have you blabbering like a buffoon because of your empty stomach.

You’ve seen a picture, yes. Is it up-to-date? Photoshopped? Or worse – downloaded from the internet? The taxi shows up late, the wind blows you to smithereens walking across the short distance to the venue, and you really hope that this isn’t going to be a colossal waste of time. Your mind reels. Is this really worth it? Sound familiar? It sort of takes the excitement out of the whole thing a little bit, doesn’t it?

Instead, picture this. You saunter home from work and nonchalantly grab a snack. If you’re in an indulgent mood, envisage that perfect sandwich [cue picture that is already in your head]. You don’t feel nervous. You are calm as a Hindu cow. You prepare slowly and with precision. When all is done, you have time to sit back, relax, and have a small glass of wine to prepare you for the date.

How do you turn picture one into picture two? Skype! One of the greatest wonders of our digital age. All of those pre first date worries withering on the vine. Here’s why.

8 First Date Problems Solved By Skype

1. Will I even fancy them?

What do they look like? Skype doesn’t have a Photoshop function. You get to see the person as they are. First big question answered with no hassle or time wasted.

2. Psycho?

Let’s face it. There is always a worry that the person you are going to meet is a potential Norman Bates. You’ve swapped messages, had a few phone calls, but you haven’t looked this person in the eyes. No chance yet to assess facial expressions and body language. Are they shifty? Do they avert their gaze on answering certain questions?

3. Is there a brain between the ears?

Skype allows you to quickly and easily assess if this person can even hold a 30 minute conversation. If not and it starts to get unbearable it is much easier to launch your reason for leaving early than in a physical setting. If you find after three hours you’re still talking, well, I think that’s a great sign isn’t it?

4. Grab their full attention

When you’re out and about there are so many other distractions. Sounds, sights and smells. The assault on the senses can be very distracting when you are overwhelmed with nerves and oversensitive to external stimuli. The great thing about Skype is you control the environment. You have the full attention of the other person. Which is the whole point of a date, right?

5. No tragically embarrassing moments

That first time we meet someone our bodies decide to mess with us just for fun don’t they? Inexplicably, we are sweating more than usual. Our fingers forget how to carry out basic functions like holding a fork. And our feet after years of being happily separated decide they want to become more intimate with each other, causing us to stumble over bags, table legs, steps or thin air! Switch on Skype, sit in your chair, and talk. Problem solved.

6. Should I kiss or hug at the end?

Well you can’t, can you?  So, no need to even worry about it. Problem solved.

7. Being stood up

Yes this can still happen, but you’ve wasted less time. No-one else is looking at you. You aren’t having the Mexican stand-off in your head about whether you should wait a little longer or just leave now. Instead, you can sit back and polish off that bottle of wine you opened in the comfort of your own home.

8. Money Money Money

Dating is expensive. Simple things like taxi’s, a few drinks, a meal, etc can start to take its toll. If you have been dating a while then this starts to add up.  Skype is low cost, low risk, but potentially a massive gain. It’s not about being cheap. You just don’t want to waste money on any more weirdoes, right? Spending money on the right person doesn’t get questioned. It’s wasting it on the duds that will start to hold you back.

Checking Chemistry & Connection

This takes a bit of time, yes? Why not set up two or three Skype dates before meeting in person? That additional familiarity will make the first meeting in person incredibly less nerve-wracking. Obviously if your date lives nearby or is a colleague, different rules apply. That would just be weird. Treat it like a normal date. Be on time. Talk about the things you normally would. Be yourself. Most importantly, have fun with it!

This guest post is courtesy of Keith Clarke. You can find him at his website Life Coach X, Twitter or Facebook.

11 thoughts on “8 First Date Problems Solved By Skype: Guest Post

  1. If I ever did online again I think I’d do this. How’s many of us had uncomfortable first meetings where they were perverts, not what they said etc, or even no connection? This would help a lot. However it still wouldn’t completely help because one might click viua this but not in person. It would stop many horrible dates though.

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    • Hi, Dawn 🙂

      Exactly! It just helps rule out the obvious ones with less hassle, doesn’t it?.

      I also agree on the fact that it isn’t a panacea for dating, but anything that reduces discomfort is worth it, right? 🙂

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    • Ha Ha! Thanks awildfly. Well it’s still advice you can pass on to others 🙂 Thanks for commenting

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  2. Great post! Thank you Keith for awesome tips – I agree that Skype can be a wonderful dating tool.
    To your point, I had a whole romance over skype before I met my (now ex-, but that’s not because of skype!) boyfriend. We did get to know each other quite well before meeting in person and I felt very comfortable going on our first non-virtual date 🙂 And we are still great friends even though not a couple anymore.

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    • Hi Kasia,

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Always good to hear other success stories 🙂 I do think it can makes things much more comfortable before meeting in person.

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  3. Hi Keith,

    I had never thought of this!! What a terrific idea. Huh. I wonder what holds more people back from taking this approach? If someone had suggested it to me when I was single, i would have been totally game!

    The only thing I personally wouldn’t love is multiple Skype dates. If I was attracted to the person over Skype, I’d want to go do something fun together after that point. Just my POV though.

    Thanks for this!
    ~Katharine

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    • Hi Katharine,

      I totally agree. I think one or two, three tops. The idea is just to get more familiarity before meeting. It can’t replace the face-to-face, but it can certainly enhances it.

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  4. Yes, I very much agree. Less pressure and more clarity if you really want to meet in person. Thats how I met my love!

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