Post-Breakup: A Hop, A Week, A Date! Guest Post

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There is no doubt that women are stigmatized for being single. The simple thought of being alone not only scares us but convinces us that dating a lot is okay. Don’t get me wrong, dating is great. Some dates are better than others, but dating can help you figure out what you are really looking for. How else can you find Mr. Right, right? But like any mathematical equation, there’s always a way to get from problem A to problem B.

Post-Breakup: A Hop, A Week, A Date! Guest Post

After a break-up, we tend to do 3 things:

  1. Cry for days.
  2. Take the time to cope with the break-up.
  3. And lastly, we hop onto a dating app in the hopes of finding someone who loves coffee, dancing, and politics or whatever.

Breakups are never easy. When it happens to you, it’s devastating. Your friends are there for support, and while they can relate they cannot feel what you feel. Emotions are high and the pain is real. It’s important to remember that life goes on.

However, before getting back in the game ask yourself these 5 questions:

Do I Feel Lonely?

After a breakup, it’s normal to feel lonely. We know the drill. You’re probably eating nothing but Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey, chocolate, gummy bear, and pizza. Now, you feel bloated and alone. You start reminiscing all the good times with your ex and you start thinking that you will never find someone like them again. Feeling and acting like this is totally normal. You might also feel a disconnect with your life. You question everything you have done until now but think about why you broke up. You will slowly realize that the connection that was once there is probably gone now. That’s okay. You could wait for days and hope that he calls you back or you could get up, clean your living room, wash your face and decide to move on. We’d go for the latter. If you feel lonely, call a friend, go out or speak to someone. Take back your life.

What Am I Looking For?

Before going on a dating app, you must ask yourself what you are looking for. You don’t want to go through another breakup (who does?) so make sure you write down what you want. It’s important to figure out what type of person you want to be with. “I want him to be intelligent, funny, caring and he definitely needs to have a good job”. After your list of do’s and don’ts, think about what you bring to the table. Your role in the relationship is just as important. We often expect so much from the opposite sex when we ourselves haven’t yet figured out our own characteristics. Think about it. You’re looking for the best, right? Well, so is he! He isn’t going around saying I’ll just take whatever comes my way. He also wants the best. Write down what you have to offer. This will also help you on that next date.

Why Do I Want To Put Myself Out There Again?

Apart from the bad dates, how does one know if they are ready to date? If you want to go on a dating app to hook-up then there are plenty of dating apps for that. Download and swipe away! However, if you are not looking for short-term relationships you might want to think hard about how you want to get back into the dating scene. A dating app might not be the best option. Some people on these apps just want sex. Instead, try going out. You have your list of do’s and don’ts ready and you feel it’s time to start meeting new people. New conversations, new faces, new you… it will all feel new. Focus on your goals this time.

How do I want to feel?

This last question is important only because this speaks to your soul. Feelings are important. I want to feel happy, confident, beautiful. Whatever the feeling, own it. When you are on that date or the beginning of a conversation with someone new think about how you are feeling. Forget the butterflies. How is this person making you feel? Listen to yourself. You’ll know when it’s right.

READERS: How do you get over a breakup? What helps you move on? Let us know! Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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3 comments

  1. I agree with this post. I think we need to ask what do we bring because if we expect someone to be a certain way we should also be that way.

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  2. I couldn’t agree more with this post. It takes time to heal the wounds in a bad breakup so these questions will be a big help before jumping to another one.

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