Is That a Sock in Your Pants … or, oh!

The first date.  We’ve all obviously been there (some of us more than others!).  Getting to that first date is often difficult enough, so you want it to go well.  I mean no one goes on a date unless they are genuinely interested, or at least genuinely intrigued, by the other person.  After you’ve set the date, you make sure you have the right outfit, that you’re hair looks good, that everything is in place.  You want to make a good first impression.  Well at least most people do.  First dates could be great or go bad pretty fast.

Here are some of my tips for a successful first date:

  • make sure you meet in a very public place for coffee or drinks … these don’t cost as much so there are less expectations … and if a guy can’t shell out $10 to pay for your drink, or a couple dollars for your coffee then you obviously need to kick him to the curb … usually best to leave the meal to date 2 or 3
  • always get there, and leave, on your own … this protects you and keeps it casual (less tempting to invite him in!)
  • limit the time you spend together to 2 hours … this gives you a good out if you need it
  • look your best, but natural … don’t make it look like you’re trying too hard
  • don’t dress like a whore or like grandma Moses … leave most of it to the imagination but give him something to think about
  • make sure you smell nice, but not overpowering … this goes for you too guys! (PS Vanilla scents are a huge bonus)
  • smile a lot and make eye contact
  • put your phone on silent/vibrate and don’t look at it, even if it rings! You need to be present, not elsewhere … if you don’t want to be there anymore, then leave
  • if you get creaped out or feel uncomfortable in ANY way LEAVE … do not feel bad, your instinct is usually right
  • if he’s got a “sock in his pants” RUN! Seriously! I mean ya it’s great he’s attracted to you … but you know what’s on his mind!
  • keep the conversation light and “getting to know” you … no personal stuff, leave it to the imagination … if you tell him everything about you, then there’s nothing left to tell or find out … BORING! Guys like a challenge.
  • leave on a positive note with a handshake or hug (depends on your comfort level) … no kissing!

These are some of the tips that seem to work for me.  Sometimes first dates are successful t and sometimes they aren’t, but it is important to ensure your self respect is intact and that you are safe.  Above all else your safety is most important.  You may have chatted with this person for months before meeting, but do you really know them or do you only know what they told/showed you.  Many people are manipulative and know how to get what they want … so be smart and ALWAYS trust your instincts.  No man is worth the risk.

So some of my first date experiences worth mentioning?  Well most my first dates turn out positive, but many of them don’t go anywhere.  My most memorable first date was with a guy that seriously looked like Jason Alexander (George Costanza from Seinfeld) … no seriously he was his twin – bald head and all! He even acted and talked like him and came complete with the overstuffed wallet in his back pocket.  It was a blind date, so I didn’t realize this when I agreed – no offense Jason ;).  Anyway, we went to a pub and he ordered me a soft drink (no he didn’t ask me what I wanted to drink – cheap ass!) and the further the night went on I seriously felt like I was on a date with George Costanza and I kept trying not to laugh … but at one point I couldn’t contain myself and burst out and just got up said bye and left.  I don’t know if he purposefully wanted to be George or not but he certainly did a good job of it.

My worst first dates … well read my post on “The Crazies”! Usually though, I try to take it as an experience and meeting someone new.  Keep it casual with no expectations.  The worst thing you can do is go in too excited and expect him to be the man of your dreams because he “seemed” that way when you spoke.  But keep an open mind and give it a chance, stay positive.  Essentially, go in like you are meeting a friend for a drink and you will be way better off!

Happy Dating!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

2 comments

  1. Excellent list!

    Here is a guy’s* take on the bullet points: (*by a guy, I am referring to me!)

    -make sure you meet in a very public place for coffee or drinks … these don’t cost as much so there are less expectations … and if a guy can’t shell out $10 to pay for your drink, or a couple dollars for your coffee then you obviously need to kick him to the curb … usually best to leave the meal to date 2 or 3
    > Public place – YES, ALWAYS! Lunch or light meals work well too as they allow a bit more time together for chatting. Expecting a guy to pay is great way to miss out on great guys who might be shy or be trying not to come off too heavy or whatever. If he hasn’t bought you anything in a two or three dates there is something wrong, but on a first meet-up you just come off as a good digger if you expect this. Typically things like coffee are paid for at first so I find I am less likely to pay for those than say a meal that is paid for at the end (after I got to like you) . Also if I really like you I might then be saving paying for something more substantial like a meal rather than just coffee. The amount of time you are willing to spend with me is also a huge factor. Coffee says you are trying to have the most minimal date possible with me which doesn’t leave me too optimistic. Hit a pub and order a sandwich!

    -always get there, and leave, on your own … this protects you and keeps it casual (less tempting to invite him in!)
    > Again, YES, ALWAYS – SAFETY IS IMPORTANT! Any guy worth dating will want to you feel (and be) safe.

    -limit the time you spend together to 2 hours … this gives you a good out if you need it
    look your best, but natural … don’t make it look like you’re trying too hard
    don’t dress like a whore or like grandma Moses … leave most of it to the imagination but give him something to think about
    >Reasonable advice. Don’t over think what you are wearing. Guys need to see you natural as that he how we would most often see you. If guys like the way you like there is nothing you can possibly wear that will change that impression.

    -make sure you smell nice, but not overpowering … this goes for you too guys! (PS Vanilla scents are a huge bonus)
    smile a lot and make eye contact
    >Scents can be skipped. Eye contact is very important. Remember this if you are doing something outdoors. It’s hard to fall in love with sunglasses.

    -put your phone on silent/vibrate and don’t look at it, even if it rings! You need to be present, not elsewhere … if you don’t want to be there anymore, then leave
    >Great people are busy. They have careers, family and other responsibilities. Handle things as needed – respecting the fact that you are out with someone. Peaking at call display or a text is fine. It might be really important. Taking an important call and disposing of it _briefly_ is fine. Life has emergencies – we get it, just don’t forget about me across the table.

    -if you get creaped out or feel uncomfortable in ANY way LEAVE … do not feel bad, your instinct is usually right
    >Again, with the safety – YES!

    -if he’s got a “sock in his pants” RUN! Seriously! I mean ya it’s great he’s attracted to you … but you know what’s on his mind!
    >This is judgement call. You want him attracted to you, but also don’t want a creep. Judge in conjunction with everything. Things happen, but combinations of things are more rare.

    -keep the conversation light and “getting to know” you … no personal stuff, leave it to the imagination … if you tell him everything about you, then there’s nothing left to tell or find out … BORING! Guys like a challenge.
    >If you have been talking lots online you might be a bit deeper. Avoid certain topics like where exactly you live or work, but things can sometimes be discussed more general. Field of work or what part of town you live in (unless you live in a really small city)

    -leave on a positive note with a handshake or hug (depends on your comfort level) … no kissing!
    >Agree.

    One important thing is that while it is important to have plans in case of disasters (ie escape method if the guy is creep) but it is also important to plan for success. It might go great! He might be be your dream guy. You might want to extend the date! Don’t make every contingency in your mind about failure or the date will live up to your plans.

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    • Thanks for your comment and your feedback … I do agree, but you know we need to have our personal standards and mine are listed in the post … nothing to do with greed or thinking I’m owed something, but just how I am.

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