Not all things are always as they seem to be … this goes especially for people. Some people are born manipulators and expert predators. I think we have all encountered, or been duped, by one or more of these individuals. They lie in wait for someone who is vulnerable and weak and pounce. Particularly preying on the newly divorced or separated. They show them love, affection and desire where perhaps they were lacking before. They are the predators that prey on the wounded animal because it’s easier for them to get what they want. Someone strong and confident doesn’t interest them … too much work … the weak person falls for their game much easier like molding clay they can shape as they wish.
A friend of mine shared a personal experience of hers recently. She encountered one of these men right after her divorce. She was in a vulnerable place in her life and he pounced. He said he’d been admiring her from a distance and that he found her so attractive. He told her what she wanted and needed to hear, especially that she was loved and desired, and even making her feel empowered. He made certain “off-color” jokes and insinuations that could be taken as threatening, but she never was sure because he laughed them off. She let him into her life and her family, trusting him completely. All along, he was playing games and doing the same to other women at the same time as her. He was a master manipulator and unpredictable. For her own safety, and that of her family, she ended up filing a police report about him. He took advantage of an innocent person and left her feeling betrayed. How many more like him are out there? (By the way, Ottawa area women who are in the dating scene, I will provide you with his deets, just email me firstname.lastname@example.org)
There are seriously bad people out there, like the man I spoke about above, who are selfish, hurtful and manipulative. This got me thinking. Are we also to blame? These people are not good people, there is no doubt about it. But, do we put ourselves in harm’s way sometimes knowing full well that we are in a compromising situation? I am a full believer in listening to my instincts. But do I always do it? Nope. Does it get me into trouble? Yup! Do we really know deep down inside when something or someone isn’t right? If something doesn’t feel right do we make excuses and write it off? Are we enabling these master manipulators and expert predators to do what they want? Do we fall right into their traps willingly? Are we the willing victim? I believe that although it is their expertise to make us believe what they say to be true, we can be willing victims sometimes – but they sure are good at making us believe anything – that’s their specialty!
Take a moment and think about it. Have you ever put yourself in a similar situation? I totally have. Ignored the signs and wrote off obvious things that didn’t feel right. Even with my ex-husband, I did the same. I knew we weren’t right for each other, I knew something seemed off. I knew we shouldn’t get married. I knew something wasn’t right about the whole situation. However, I just wrote it off as pre-wedding jitters. Now I wish I listened to my gut! It’s actually proven that people who get divorced early in their marriage had these serious jitters before the wedding. People who are happy and stick together usually did not have these jitters. Makes perfect sense to me.
So be vigilant (but not a vigilante) … no man is worth jeopardizing your safety, or your happiness for. Listen to your gut instincts. They are always right. Pay attention to other people’s experiences, learn from them. There are A LOT of crazies out there! As I always say, have fun and experiment with anything and everything, but remember safety first. That reminds me of a time … well, I’ll save that story for next time 😉
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva