But puppies, like all dogs stink when they get wet.  They crap all over the place and then you have to clean the mess. Some people we date are like puppies.  Granted they are cute and suck you in with their love and affection and their excitement to see you.  But that doesn’t last long does it?  Soon they start eating your shoes and barking at everything that drives by.  The honeymoon is over before it’s even begun.  I find this very true of the one of my latest escapades … the younger man.  How young you ask?  Well, seven years younger.  Yikes, well he was quite convincing, and cute and successful and had a nice car and sucked me in with his adoration and worship … he had a bad case of the Single Dating Divas … for about a second.  He did make me feel like this song was about me Sexy and I Know It (can I just say I LOVE this video uh I mean song … yes I’m a freak … but I love it).

So I met Mr. T, or as I will call him, the puppy, in a store.  He was persistent enough to get me on BBM (for those of you non-BlackBerry users, it’s BlackBerry Messenger).  So we chatted for a bit … but I would always make excuses and not go out with him.  He was younger after all … what would I do with someone that much younger (well OK … I know … but still!).  So we stopped talking for a week and I took this opportunity to delete him off BBM.  So what did he do?  He found me on my online profile and sent me a message … I told you he had a bad case of the Single Dating Divas.  He convinced me to add him back on BBM.  After a couple of weeks, I finally agreed to go for a drink.  We went and I ordered a glass of wine and he ordered something harder and a glass of wine.  I think he was a bit nervous.  (Aww cute you think eh?  Sure, the puppy was just reeling me in.)  It was a good date I have to say.  I was pleasantly surprised and, after much convincing, agreed to give him a chance.  Well how can you resist a guy who looks at you like you’re a goddess!? C’mon don’t tell me you wouldn’t love it … I’m sexy and I know it! LOL!

So we made plans to see each other a couple days later.  We started chatting a lot more often as well.  We saw each other as planned.  It was nice … he came over and was enthralled by my massive book collection.  So we went through some of my books and pictures, had a couple of drinks and with a little kiss he was off.  Nice second date.  We spent the week chatting some more and made plans for the Saturday.  Just to note, the puppy was the one still following me around … he initiated all our contacts, not me.  I played it cool, but at the same time showing interest.  Friday comes and it was just like any other normal day.  I was going out to dinner with some friends and he had a dinner with his friend as well.  No worries.  Then, around 9:30ish I look at my phone and notice he wasn’t on my BBM anymore.  We both had been having phone issues that week, so thought maybe there was a problem.  I text messaged him asking him why he wasn’t on BBM … he promptly messaged back saying his phone was messed up again.  I didn’t think much of it.  He asked me to call him when I got home.  I did and he didn’t answer, I thought maybe he was sleeping.  No worries.  So I sent him a message Saturday afternoon.  He responds.  I respond.  He doesn’t respond.  OK, he was working, maybe he got busy.  I waited and waited.  After a while, I sent him another message to confirm our date for that night.  No response.  Sent him another.  Nothing.  Hmmm .. this was getting weird.

After several attempts at contacting him.  I stopped and knew I recognized this behavior before … he was the no balls type who can’t tell a girl he wasn’t interested anymore.  This puppy had been neutered and I didn’t even know it!  So I sent him one more message the next day … still nothing.  I wasn’t going to let this rest.  On Monday, I sent him an email that read:

Dearest,

I just wanted to say thank you for the time we did spend together.

I find it very unfortunate that you went to the trouble of getting me to go out with you and then pulling the stunt that you did.

Perhaps it was a vengeful act because I deleted you off of BBM or perhaps you met someone you liked better.

Whatever the case was, I just thought, although you were young, that you were more mature than to just delete me off of BBM and then ignore my text messages standing me up Saturday night.  

I gave you a chance, despite my initial hesitation, because when we met in person I thought you were mature for your age and I enjoyed our time together.

Regardless, if you do enjoy the company of older women, my advice to you is that you deal with them more maturely and not be a coward when it comes to facing them.

No woman likes a man that’s all penis and no balls!

Wishing you all the best.

So you’re wondering if he replied.  Yes he did.  This is what he said.

Dearest,

I have no clue  what you are talking about I texted you back on Saturday and I got no response from you. I’m sorry you feel that way but I also wish you all the best,

Take care

Whatever.  I didn’t let it rest, I got out the pooper scooper and called him on his lie.  I asked him why he didn’t  just come over? Why didn’t he call? Yes, that’s right … I’m on to you young man.  Well he didn’t respond.  Nothing to say.  Oh well … on to the next! I tried my young man … I think I’m convinced that I only want to date men who were born in the 1970’s.  That would make them in a range from 33 to 42.  That’s a good range.  I was born in the 1970’s.  I like the 70’s … who wouldn’t?  Disco music … bell bottoms … platform shoes … psychedelic drugs … uninhibited sex … debauchery … what the heck am I doing in 2012?  Anyone got a time machine?