I recently have been reflecting on what it means to be a true friend. Also, what qualities I value in a friend. Are some friends more trouble then they’re worth or is every friendship worth fighting for? I have to say during my troubled marriage, separation and divorce, my friends and family were the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t say it was one person in particular, but many, that each contributed to my healing, the regaining of my confidence and learning to live again. I really appreciate them very much; I sincerely think I couldn’t have gone so far so fast without them. In times like those you know who your true friends are. Even though some of them keep reminding me that it is because of them in particular that I am who I am today, I know it was a combined effort … it also doesn’t hurt that I’m a pretty tough cookie who always lands on her feet no matter in which pit you throw her! It’s hard to keep me down. I bounce back like a ball every time!
That being said, what does it mean to be a true friend to me? To me a true friend is someone who gives without asking in return and without reminding you that they give. A true friend is someone who is honest with you no matter what and doesn’t wait until it’s too late to approach you with a problem they have with you. A true friend gives you the benefit of the doubt when they think you’ve wronged them because a true friend knows your intentions. A true friend is there for you when you need them most. A true friend shares their happiest and saddest moments with you as well as yours. A true friend walks through life with you in muddy and clear water. A true friend listens to what is going on in your life a thousand times and still listens because you repeatedly listen to their stories too. A true friend isn’t envious of your accomplishments and they encourage you to go further. A true friend will be there for you even if they don’t agree with your choices; they will help clean up the mess regardless. A true friend loves you through anything and never gives up on the friendship because it doesn’t quite fit their personal agenda.
Those are the things I value in a friend. Those are the things I offer as a friend. I am blessed to have many friends, but I am even more blessed to have a select few that I can say fit that description to the letter. That makes me truly blessed. Perhaps we don’t always agree and we get on each other’s nerves, but we are open and honest with each other. We know each other’s true value and truly trust that we would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship. I am truly thankful for these people in my life. I don’t have any sisters, but these friends have been my sisters (ok and a couple brothers) since we were very young. When you have gone through a traumatic event in your life, these are the people that really matter.
How does this all fit into dating after divorce? You cannot begin to live again without your friends. A divorce is a traumatic event in your life … not one that can heal overnight. Your friends are there to help you through that and to help you get on your feet again. They help you meet new people and get out into the dating world again. They are there to listen to your stories over and over again. Your friends are there to support you when you get your heart broken and when you, maybe, perhaps, fall in love again. Isn’t that what friends are for? I say yes! I also say thank you to all my wonderfully loving friends who have been there for me every difficult step of the way. If you are facing a difficult end to a relationship, your friends will make the journey much more enjoyable.
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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