Players Gonna Play

We all know what a “player” is and have all certainly encountered them throughout our life. Some of us even come from a family of players so have been surrounded by it their whole life. Essentially, a player is a man or woman who enters into “liaisons” with several different people at the same time but commits to none. This person will usually make each person think they are important to them and exclusive when in reality this isn’t true. These people typically have a personality you can trust … or they say what you want to hear in order to get what they want. I’ve been there several times. However, I’m usually really good at deciphering the truth from the lies. But I have found recently that it’s much harder to do so. The players have changed … the game is different … or is it that players in their 30’s/40’s play a different type of game which they have perfected over the years? Perhaps.

Those who follow my blog will know I got caught in one of these situations recently, see “Y Did I Bother?”. I totally didn’t take him for a player, but he was. Generally I don’t get played, or let them think they are playing me, but I can always figure out the game. So what has changed? I have been pondering that idea recently. When you think “player” you always think of this smooth talking, well dressed person who has every great line in the book. He knows what to say just to get what he wants. You can usually see right through them. Now, players are rarely like that. Players will act like any normal person out there. They speak about normal things – their life, their family, even their insecurities. They do their best to make you think they are genuinely interested. They don’t make any “moves” early on. They really work hard to establish trust. They need you to believe in their sincerity. They act like any normal person would that is interested in dating you.

I am honestly finding it quite hard to distinguish the player from the guy who is genuinely interested in dating. I have said before that I enjoy a good game with a good player … but one who you know is a player and all the cards are on the table. It can be fun. But I am having difficulty with these players who act like they are not. How do you make a distinction between them? I need to be more observant I think. I also need to stop my wishful thinking and trust no one, which is unfortunate. Some men and women you know not to trust any word that comes out of their mouth, it’s not those you have to worry about. You have to worry about those playing a great acting game of deception … and the Oscar goes to …

Stirring the Dating Sauce,

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva