It seems everywhere you turn you find what to do or not to do when dating. There are ten rules to follow for this and that. But who writes these and who’s right? I’m even guilty of writing my own lists and advice. Am I an expert? Not really, but I take what I’ve learned along the way and pass on my experience. Do experts exist? I don’t think so. No PhD in anything is going to give a person the full picture of human interaction, particularly in dating. I think each person is different and what works for one might not work for another. A person, I believe, is a product of their environment. They react to certain situations certain ways because of who they are and their experiences. Advice, however, is always valid. You just need to take it and apply it to your life and situation remembering that each situation is different, has different variables, and includes different people who bring their own experiences with them.
When reflecting on my dating experiences, I sometimes wonder if I am doing something wrong. Am I setting myself up for failure before I even begin? I think dating is 90% attitude and 10% luck. I’ve said before, if you think positive, you will attract positive. I’ve tried this approach, but why do I always end up on the losing end? Perhaps, it’s not a loss if it doesn’t work out with the wrong person. It’s still difficult. I wonder if the approach I’m taking is all wrong, perhaps those I choose to date are the wrong ones for me. I mean, I have a pretty bad track record of men I want to be with. My ex husband for example … but then again, I totally settled for him! I just believe in being true to myself and not settling for someone who isn’t the type I want. I am very confident that there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone needs to be true to themselves or else they won’t be happy. That’s one piece of advice that you should follow!
Are There Rules to Dating?
So what dating rules do I truly believe in? Well here are a few … hope they are helpful!
- Be true to yourself.
- Use your judgement and gut instinct. It will never steer you wrong … if something doesn’t feel right, trust your feeling!
- Don’t settle for anything less than you want just because you don’t want to be alone.
- Always look your best; you never know who you might run into (even at the gym!)
- Never go to someone’s house on the first few dates. Always meet in public. When you’re alone you might be tempted to do something you shouldn’t.
- First dates should always be casual and be for a coffee or a drink. Nothing extravagant or expensive.
- If you liked the person and want to see them again, send them a text/email the next day thanking them for a nice date and telling them you look forward to seeing them again.
- If someone doesn’t contact you back, don’t chase them. If someone really wants you they will contact you. Plain and simple.
- Be aware of all the baggage you bring into a relationship and if it affects you and your decisions in any way.
- Have fun and think positive. Just focus on what is good and not the negative. Not every date will work out, the important thing is to dust yourself off and keep trying. Don’t ever give up.
- Don’t play the psycho card. Don’t call someone ten times a day and bug them while they are at work. Don’t give them a reason to cut you off. Playing it cool will always be better; it also helps you be calm about everything.
- Surround yourself with happy, positive people. Friends and family are your best source of support and fill up your schedule so you don’t obsess about dating and why your date isn’t calling back. Until you’re in an actual relationship, they shouldn’t be your priority.
Here’s hoping we all find the love of our lives and they are emotionally and physically available to start their lives with us. May you all have happy and positive dating experiences.
Stirring the Dating Sauce,
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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