Redefining Relationships

A relationship is being connected to someone.  It can be platonic, familial or romantic.  The question I’ve been reflecting on is: are relationships the same as they use to be, or, have they changed over time?  I believe things and people evolve over time depending on their experiences … is it the same with relationships?  Well, I feel family and friends have pretty much remained the way they always were.  Even though the methods of communicating are different, the motivation to interact remains the same as it always was.  How about romantic relationships?  This includes dating as well as marriage.  Here, I feel, things have drastically changed.  Relationships aren’t what they used to be.  I’m not sure if I would call it evolution or devolution, but they are different then they used to be.  Let me explain.

Redefining RelationshipsWhile the motivations to be in a relationship remain the same (companionship, sexual, etc), the people have changed.  The world has become one of greed with people wanting everything.  Everything is right there at their fingertips.  If someone wants something they will stop at nothing (sometimes illegal) to get it.  This also includes people.  No one is ever satisfied with having just one of something.  They want more.  Look at me for example, I have two iPods, a Blackberry, two laptops as well as other gadgets and I really want an iPad … do I need an iPad? No.  Do I WANT and iPad? Yes.  I am a serial dater, I admit it.  I go out with a lot of people and having trouble being satisfied with just one.  But I won’t settle.  I, personally, am always striving for more, bigger and better things.  But that’s normal, isn’t it?  We want to be the best we can be (flashback to high school guidance counselor!).  But you get what I mean.

So how does this resonate in today’s relationships?  Well, I feel people are less likely to commit to someone.  They hold off for something better.  The one who will give them fireworks.  But is that realistic?  Casual relationships are the norm now.  Particularly the older you get.  I mean, only recently have people been talking about “friends with benefits”.  Although it’s not a new concept, it’s become more accepted in this non-committal world.  I recently wrote about “e-maintenance” and how people like to ” touch base” with others sporadically, just to keep them there “just in case”.  No commitment, no relationship, hardly a friendship.  What is that?  I have heard so many stories from guys and girls how they met the perfect person for them.  That they know it would be good between them, but they are reluctant to enter into a commitment, just in case something better came along.  WTF?

I personally don’t think people want what they say they want.  They want their options to always be open and even if they are in a relationship, they want that to be open too.  Why stick to just one when you can have many?  So is that where we’re headed?  Is that what we have to accept in order to make a relationship work?  Is the “swinging” generation on the comeback?  Well, perhaps.  Am I ready to go down that path, well, we’ll see … I kinda like the idea of variety too … perhaps.  Saying it is one thing though, and doing it is a completely other thing! Would you?

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

7 thoughts on “Redefining Relationships

  1. HI. I really like your blog!
    While I’m a committed girl, I do see a lot of what you describe among some friends. As someone who got married in her late 30’s I’ve seen a lot of people fold up their “variety is the spice of life” flag and change their mind about that as they approach 40. Lot’s of weddings over the past few years.
    Great topic!
    -Kristin
    http://www.coupletastic.com

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  2. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Somewhere along the way, I’ve become a believer that one can get everything out of one relationship (including all of that fairy tale stuff) when it’s really an unrealistic expectation. Even though I consciously know this, my subconscious believes that these ideal beings exist, making it hard to ultimately commit if my partner does something that I don’t expect from that unrealistic perfect prince.

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  3. There is nothing wrong with keeping your options open and refusing to settle; however, if you refuse to commit because you continually hold onto the “grass is greener” mentality-you may grow weary of superficial relationships. Being alone does not equal loneliness but if intimacy and a deeper connection with another person is what you crave-taking a chance on someone who’s slightly less-than “perfect” maybe worth the effort. Much love, peace, and happiness always, Diva! Fabulous post 🙂

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