What’s an excuse? Well it’s a reason or explanation put forward to defend or justify a misconduct or offense. Is it valid or not? Well that’s another question. What happens when this excuse is actually a good one that you can’t dispute? What is the difference between a good excuse and a valid reason? Where do you cross the line? I know you’re thinking, “what’s with all the questions?”. Well I’ve been mulling over these questions the past couple days. Why? You ask? Well someone has cancelled on me two weekends in a row and always has a “good excuse”. But where do I draw the line?
We all do it. We need to cancel plans … sometimes it’s for a good reason and sometimes we just have a good excuse. Personally, I am honest with the person, if I’m just feeling lazy, then I tell them. I am an honest person and I appreciate honesty as well. I just think it’s respectful and shows that you value the person if you’re honest. Usually people are understanding. Actually, it’s rare that people aren’t understanding when you’re completely honest. Then why do people lie and make excuses? I think it is because they can’t face the truth or, of course, they are just pathological liars. Some people don’t know how to tell the truth, or they are masters of “leaving information out”. They tell half-truths. I wish that wasn’t the case, but it is. You know what they say, honesty is always the best policy.
So how do you tell if someone’s giving you a good excuse or if it’s actually a valid reason? Well, assess it on a case by case basis. What is the person telling you? Do they make a habit of giving excuses? Is their reason actually a good one that is very possible or is the excuse way off the charts of believable? Do they tell you half-truths? You can always tell. No one is stupid, we all have intuition – that feeling inside that tells us the truth about a situation or person. We just choose to ignore our intuition sometimes when we want to see the good and not the bad. Be realistic.
I think my mr. good excuse is the telling half-truths kind. Perhaps I’m wrong. I hope I’m wrong, but I guess we’ll see. As I always say, words are empty … it’s the actions that count!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
I wonder about this quite often myself… Dating a guy with a son, and as much as I believe that most of the time when he can’t see me it really is a good reason, sometimes I wonder if he uses his son as an excuse 😦 Then, I wonder even more if it’s my own insecurities making me wonder so much in the first place! Argh!
I think we’re so jaded by the liars that we don’t want to be “taken” again. Go with your gut … If you’re questioning then there’s good reason to.
Absolutely – I don’t want to be “taken” – I want to make sure that whatever I’m doing, I’m doing it with my eyes wide open. It’s tough, though – I enjoy the time we do spend together, so I don’t think I’m ready to give that up just yet… just need to be cautious, without letting myself get too cynical!
Yep. I think the only way to tell the difference is to listen to your gut.
Yes, and we need to do more of that!
[…] plans to come see me and suddenly would change for great reasons (see my post on his good excuses here). So I took it. I decided to give him as much rope as he needed to hang himself – and, if […]
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