Ever felt like you were a cat trying to grab a string that someone else was dangling in front of you? Ever felt like you were being led on by someone? Just when something seems within your reach it isn’t. I certainly do! It’s happened to me often actually. It made me think, is it them or is it me? Are they sending out the wrong signals or am I reading them wrong? But then again, I’m a pretty seasoned dater. I have pretty good instincts (even if I ignore them sometimes). Some people just like to rev the engines but don’t go anywhere. I like to call them the “dating tease”. So how do you avoid the dating “blue balls”? Well, let’s explore this idea a little more.
Why do people do it? Well, before answering that, we do have to mention that sometimes it’s on purpose and other times it really isn’t. Some people are just nice by nature and make others feel special and someone looking for that kind of attention might take it the wrong way. I’m not talking about that kind of leading on, I’m talking about the person who will make you feel special and give you crumbs to keep you hanging on while having no intention of being with you. They don’t let you move on with your life but they also don’t let you close enough to feel like you are officially together. Why do they do it? It’s simple, it’s because they can.
It’s really a selfish act. They like the attention. Chances are, too, that you’re not the only one they are leading on. It could be they are confused and want to keep you there until they’re ready, but that’s still selfish. Ladies, these are the “Mr. Big’s” of the world. We all have one don’t we? The one that makes us weak in the knees and ruins your day when you see them? Not because they do anything, but just because they are the one thing you want that you can’t have. Oh yes, I do have one. You know who I’m talking about … Mr. R. Sigh. Selfish. Selfish. Selfish.
Personally, I try my best to be upfront and honest with men. I either like you or I don’t. I won’t pretend. I treat others as I want to be treated. For example, I was asked recently to go for a coffee and I told him that I don’t feel that we’re compatible but if he would like a friendly coffee I would be happy to. He’s not my type, I don’t want to date him … even though I could use the male company, I won’t pretend just to satisfy my selfish need for companionship. I have lots of friends to hang out with, I don’t need to use someone for my own purposes. If I like you I do … I won’t hide it. If I don’t like you in “that” way, you will know about it. I can’t be bothered with playing games.
Feeling the urge to say “here kitty kitty”? Well unless you are actually playing with a cat, resist the urge … what goes around comes around … don’t treat people like that. It’s not nice. It’s hurtful. It’s shameful. People who lead others on, especially on purpose, deserve a public shaming. If you are going to date multiples, then be open and honest about it and don’t make someone feel like they are the only one. Don’t forget about dating karma!
What do you think …
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva