A Singles Online Dating Experiment

So as most of you have probably realized, I haven’t done much dating recently and I swore off online dating. Well, guess what, I fell off the bandwagon … well just for a couple hours. I wanted to do an experiment. I wanted to create a profile that was stellar with stellar pictures and see what kind of responses I got and if men were still helpless in the singles online dating world. I was bored Friday night and I did it. What happened? Lo and behold I got over 60!! responses to my profile within a couple of hours. Wow! Never happened to me before … either there’s a shortage of women out there or I did something right!

A Singles Online Dating Experiment

online-dating-experiment What did I write in my profile well here it is for you:

Heading: Rub the magic lamp and make a wish!

About Me: You rubbed the magic lamp, you made a wish …and here I am. Everything your heart desires, or am I. Well, you be the judge. My joy in life is derived from ambition … mine and others’. I am always striving to accomplish new things and that makes me happy … it also makes me happy to see others excited about what they are doing. I am a magnet to men who are ambitious and hard workers. I love to learn new things and I always love to laugh. I have traveled all over Europe and the Caribbean and my favorite part of travelling is meeting the locals and experiencing their history. Rome is my all time favorite destination because everywhere you go you are walking in history. In my spare time, I find the gym a great way to maintain my healthy lifestyle and relieve the tension and stress of the day. I also do a lot of writing and reading … part of my desire to be a sponge for new information. I write a lot about my experiences being single and dating. Don’t be shy … say hi!

So they weren’t shy and said hi … among other things! I went through the responses and was appalled by what I saw on the most part. A lot of men really have NO CLUE what to write to a women. The majority just wrote “hi”, some added a “how are you” … others, well …

here are my top 5 disaster responses:
5: Is your name Jackie?
4: I’d like to rub YOUR magic lamp if you know what I mean!
3: I like to travel too.
2: Your lips look so kissable … can I, maybe, perhaps, kiss them?
1: You are gorgeous can I lick your face?

Ya … OK!!! Out of the 60 or so responses, only about 5 made any reference to anything I wrote in my singles dating profile. I won’t even mention some of the disastrous profile pictures they had! C’mon people!! Put your best foot forward!! I have to admit, some of them did, but only a couple. It was quite disheartening. People complain about others not responding to them and having trouble meeting people online. Well start with how you respond to a profile! Make an effort!

Online Dating: Put Your Best Foot Forward

Here are some tips for good responses to singles online dating profiles …

Always begin with a greeting: hello, how are you, I hope you’re having a good day
Talk about something you liked about their profile: I liked your picture, I noticed you play tennis as a hobby how did you get into it, I find it interesting that you have travelled all over Asia
Talk about something you have in common: As you’ll see in my profile I also enjoy wine tasting, I have travelled to Africa too what part did you like the best?
Express interest: I would love to get to know you better, Hopefully we can chat about our common interests
Finish with a nice closing: Looking forward to hearing from you, Hope you have a great day, Best of luck in your search

That, my friends, is how you respond to a singles online dating profile that you are interested in if you want to be taken seriously. Yes, it requires some effort, but the payoff will be much greater. I can almost guarantee it. I shut down my profile after a few hours, singles online dating experiment complete … but, should I go back on and try try again?

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally published on Singles Warehouse

7 comments

Nice post, but in practice the advice does not work. Getting responses has only to do with whether the person at the other end is interested in you or not. What your write in a message has little to do with it (within the bounds of reason). People that run dating websites have done click-stream analysis and found people often look at someones profile first – before opening the message. Writing longer more thought-out messages simply takes up more of your time. It does not increase response rate. I personally have gotten to the point where I am not going to spend valuable time until someone has in some way shape or form shown some interest in me…at that point I will invest lots of time, but until I get a first response…forget it. I will invest my time in other things. There are too many people playing silly little “let’s see how many messages I can get” games. If your going to message first the better advice is simply to “carpet bomb” – as sad as that sounds. Reach as many people as possible as quickly as possible and work with what comes back. Even if the response rate is low, if you send enough out you will get responses.

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Single Dating Diva says:

July 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM

Thanks Dave. Well, perhaps you are right to a point … but don’t you like knowing that someone actually paid attention to what you wrote in your profile?

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- Dave says:
  
  July 25, 2012 at 10:42 AM
  
  I like that someone read it sure. Now guy’s don’t get many first messages so you sorta have to work with what you can get…I have had long conversation and dates that did start with only “hi” in their first message. The same experiment done by a guy might yield maybe 3-5 messages. A certain portion of said messages come from women in distant parts of the world (I ignore those). A certain portion come from women that you really could not even see yourself dating even if you considerably stretch who you are willing to date (some will get ignored, some will get a friendly reply thanking them for their message, but…). There will be the odd middle of the road person worth chatting with and the remaining portion interestingly enough tend to be OUTSTANDING prospects, but they only come up now and again (say one in 6-8 months or something).
  
  LikeLike
  - Single Dating Diva says:
    
    July 25, 2012 at 10:48 AM
    
    well I guess there is no perfect answer, it’s on a case by case situation … most are people you just delete and move on … not worth your time
    
    LikeLike

I posted this on the Singles Warehouse blog as well, but here it is:

Don’t give up… Keep updating your profile and perfect / change it. You will also attract some good ones I think. I remember I use to have something in there that said, “If you don’t take the time to read what took me SO MUCH TIME to write, then please don’t bother connecting. There will be a quiz….” but to each her own… haha. the experiment that yields perfect results right out of the gate is RARE, so keep tweaking… and have some FUN

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Single Dating Diva says:

July 26, 2012 at 2:33 PM

I love that line I’m so gonna use it!!! Thanks for the great comment!

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The one thing I always say about online dating is “it’s like fishing in a huge ocean…” you’ll bring in some great catches, but now and then you may get a shoe too. LOL. Keep at it baby girl!

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Dave says:

July 25, 2012 at 8:01 AM

Nice post, but in practice the advice does not work. Getting responses has only to do with whether the person at the other end is interested in you or not. What your write in a message has little to do with it (within the bounds of reason). People that run dating websites have done click-stream analysis and found people often look at someones profile first – before opening the message. Writing longer more thought-out messages simply takes up more of your time. It does not increase response rate. I personally have gotten to the point where I am not going to spend valuable time until someone has in some way shape or form shown some interest in me…at that point I will invest lots of time, but until I get a first response…forget it. I will invest my time in other things. There are too many people playing silly little “let’s see how many messages I can get” games. If your going to message first the better advice is simply to “carpet bomb” – as sad as that sounds. Reach as many people as possible as quickly as possible and work with what comes back. Even if the response rate is low, if you send enough out you will get responses.

LikeLike
- Single Dating Diva says:
  
  July 25, 2012 at 8:47 AM
  
  Thanks Dave. Well, perhaps you are right to a point … but don’t you like knowing that someone actually paid attention to what you wrote in your profile?
  
  LikeLike
  - Dave says:
    
    July 25, 2012 at 10:42 AM
    
    I like that someone read it sure. Now guy’s don’t get many first messages so you sorta have to work with what you can get…I have had long conversation and dates that did start with only “hi” in their first message. The same experiment done by a guy might yield maybe 3-5 messages. A certain portion of said messages come from women in distant parts of the world (I ignore those). A certain portion come from women that you really could not even see yourself dating even if you considerably stretch who you are willing to date (some will get ignored, some will get a friendly reply thanking them for their message, but…). There will be the odd middle of the road person worth chatting with and the remaining portion interestingly enough tend to be OUTSTANDING prospects, but they only come up now and again (say one in 6-8 months or something).
    
    LikeLike
    - Single Dating Diva says:
      
      July 25, 2012 at 10:48 AM
      
      well I guess there is no perfect answer, it’s on a case by case situation … most are people you just delete and move on … not worth your time
      
      LikeLike
LisaJeyDavis says:

July 26, 2012 at 12:06 PM

I posted this on the Singles Warehouse blog as well, but here it is:

Don’t give up… Keep updating your profile and perfect / change it. You will also attract some good ones I think. I remember I use to have something in there that said, “If you don’t take the time to read what took me SO MUCH TIME to write, then please don’t bother connecting. There will be a quiz….” but to each her own… haha. the experiment that yields perfect results right out of the gate is RARE, so keep tweaking… and have some FUN

LikeLike
- Single Dating Diva says:
  
  July 26, 2012 at 2:33 PM
  
  I love that line I’m so gonna use it!!! Thanks for the great comment!
  
  LikeLike
MsCheevious says:

July 26, 2012 at 12:07 PM

The one thing I always say about online dating is “it’s like fishing in a huge ocean…” you’ll bring in some great catches, but now and then you may get a shoe too. LOL. Keep at it baby girl!

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