More and more often people are opting for “home dates”. What’s a home date? A home date is when you don’t go out and you stay in and watch a movie, maybe cook some dinner … maybe Netflix and chill? Well, while all these activities sound great, but when in the dating timeline should they occur AND are they really a date? I’ve discussed this with many people and while there are differing perspectives, there are also some important considerations such as safety and intentions. While staying home sometimes seems like a great idea, I challenge you to ask yourself is a home date really a date?
Is a Home Date Really a Date?
Trying to figure out what to do on a date could be a challenge. Sometimes there really is no interesting option, or, perhaps you just don’t feel like going out. So, you propose a home date. Sounds innocent enough, right? Wrong. Let me explain. If you’re a couple, in a committed relationship or exclusively dating for 4 or more dates, then sure why not cook a romantic dinner at home or watch a movie. What about a first or second date? Is a home date appropriate? I say no, no it’s not at all appropriate. Why not? Because you’re still getting to know the person and they are still a stranger. Safety first. Especially if you met them online!
Also, home is a very intimate setting where, um, intimate things can happen. Being at home tends to lead to sexual activities that perhaps you hadn’t expected or really wanted but you just get caught up in the moment and regret it later. I’ve heard from many people who have lost their control because the mood was right and hormones were raging and really regretted it after. Unless your goal is to be intimate early on, then avoid home dates altogether until you’re ready for that step. Sometimes, a home date is proposed for that very reason so be aware of the person’s intentions (even if they swear they have innocent intentions).
If someone offers you a home date, just suggest another option. If they don’t accept then you know they had less than honorable intentions (big red flag). If they accept then they really want to spend time with you and get to know you. Not everyone is out to get you, but you still need to protect yourself and date safe. Avoiding home dates until you know where you stand with your date and when you know that you’re on the same page is a good dating best practice. So is a home date really a date? I say no it’s not. It’s a great way to spend time with someone special. Dates are outings and a way to get to know someone on the road to something potentially special.
READERS: Do you tend to avoid or prefer home dates? When do you think it’s appropriate? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
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Agreed. I’ve done home dates (usually where they cook or order food)then we watch movies. However these were long time committed relationships. When I did online I got many offers for home dates and this either means they are cheap or just wanting sex (and usually both). Unless you know the person it’s a bad idea.
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Agreed, Home dates are a great idea for two people already in a relationship, but definitely a bust for first dates.
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Not to mention dangerous. He could be a murderer or rapist.
People tend to forget that “Stranger Danger” is real!
Definitely Yolanda, home is not the place for a first date!
Thanks Dawn, yes it is a bad idea unless you know the person, not something new.
I find Home dates intimate and more private. Well doing home dates is better when you guys are dating for a while. Home date as a first date is just too dangerous, especially if you don’t know each other that well.
Yes home dates are great when you’ve been dating someone and you’re committed otherwise it’s a bad idea and unsafe.
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