Distinguishing the Men from the Boys When Dating


There is one thing I can credit to my dating experience as well as having the pleasure of hearing about others’ experiences and that is the knowledge that there are many types of men out there. I never thought there could be so many different options out there which is great if you think about it. There really is someone out there for everyone, depending on what you’re looking for. One thing, however, that did stand out was the difference between men and boys when dating. There really is a difference.

In no way am I trying to be sexist, but just observing the differences. Another thing I realized is that there are A LOT of emotionally scarred, broken guys out there who are afraid to trust or let go and, in turn, unleash their baggage on others, intentionally, or unintentionally, hurting them in the process. I hear about it all the time, mostly from the women left in their wake. Distinguishing the men from the boys when dating is extremely important. How do you know what you’ve got on your hands? Does it even matter?

Distinguishing the Men from the Boys When Dating

Everyone has a different definition of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman. It’s not so clear these days. When meeting men, here are some characteristics you should look for:

  • A man is someone who is responsible, has his life in order, is confident, respectful, trustworthy and honest. He knows what he wants and goes and gets it. When he meets a woman he likes he spends his time getting to know her in a real way. He isn’t afraid of commitment. He sees a woman as a whole, both intelligent and attractive. He is financially stable. He is mature. He is a man of his word, demonstrating with action. He cares about his appearance and puts his best self forward. A man has integrity.
  • A boy, on the other hand, suffers from Peter Pan Syndrome, you know, the guys who don’t want to grow up and take responsibility for the impact they have on other people’s lives. They like playing with women’s feelings and leading them on, even when he sees they’re attached to him. He looks for arm candy and focuses on how hot she is rather than what other qualities she has. Although some boys have money, he doesn’t usually have his life in order, financially (asking you for money) or otherwise. He dates (and sleeps with) multiple women at once while making them all think they are the only one. He’s all talk and empty promises. A boy isn’t ambitious, he’s lazy and plays with women’s feelings. A boy has no integrity.

I myself have dated both men and boys … as I’m sure all of you have. There are a lot of boys in the dating world today using and abusing women. What’s important is that women are aware and date smart. At the first sign that your date is a man child you need to cut the cord and move on. Problem is that many women (including myself) got caught up in wishful thinking, hoping he would change or at least that he would show his manly man self soon. I dated lots of boys until I smartened up and found myself a real man. Yes ladies, they are out there (it’s not an urban myth) but you have to stop wasting your time with the wrong men and focus on finding the right one.

Guys it’s time to step up and grow up! Ladies, stop chasing those boys and find a real man who will treat you like you deserve. STOP COMPLAINING about all the boys you’re meeting and find a MAN. What will you get? Peace of mind. You’ll never have to wonder if he likes you or wants you, you’ll just know. You’ve wasted your time long enough … it’s time to be happy! CHOOSE happiness!!

READERS: Ladies, have you dated men and boys? What was the difference?  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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  1. I’ve dated both and in some respects I prefer boys. I’m not talking the afraid of commitment ones, I’m talking those not afraid to channel their inner child. I’m more interested in things like sports or playing video games than many other things so I like guys into that. However, I’ve found personally it’s hard to find an actual man. It seems I either find guys who have never had commitment (either by choice or circumstance)and they don’t want it or don’t know how to deal. On the other hand every single guy I’ve met who’s been married and a father is seeking someone to take care of him and his kids, and is so emotionally scarred. I don’t date dads so would love to find a man who hasn’t had a lot of experience but willing to commit.


  2. I have dated less than a hand full of boys in my first years in college. but haven’t experience dating men after I graduated. Been busy in work and a lot of the male population in my home town are intimidated by my height. I am at the above average here sigh hopefully I can find a man to date instead of another boy.


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