As most of you may have noticed, I haven’t been my happy bubbly self lately. You have also probably noticed me speaking about having a recent broken heart. Well that I do … quite broken actually. I would say probably one of the deepest breaks I have had in a long while. Why is the cut so deep? Well, it’s not really about the love aspect of the relationship (men come and go), it’s the deep friendship that is now in a million pieces because of something that could have been avoided with just a bit of honesty. We were very close friends before we decided to take things to another level. So that is why my heart is broken … loss of love, possible loss of a close friend and hope shattered. He was honestly the ONE person I would have NEVER expected this from, which is why it hurts more than it usually would have. I will talk a little about what happened in a future post, but today I wanted to talk about broken hearts.
Who doesn’t deal with a broken heart at least once in their life? It doesn’t even have to be because of a relationship, it can be the loss of anything you love. It’s one of the worst feelings you can experience. It’s an intense emotional pain that is very real. I read an article once (I wish I could find it) that it has been scientifically proven that a broken heart hurts in the same way as any other intense physical pain. I believe it. It manifests itself in many ways … you go between intense anger, deep sadness to melancholy. Some people even have mental breakdowns. I have even heard of people dying of broken hearts (whether it’s medically possible or not I don’t know). Those who know me know that when I am angry the whole world knows about it, but when I am deeply hurt and saddened I internalize it and make myself sick. That’s what has happened to me. So what do you do? How do you deal with a broken heart? ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Here are some tips that have helped me deal with some of my emotions recently:
- Let yourself feel what you need to feel … anger, sadness, pain, happiness, depression
- Cry your heart out when you feel like crying … let it out, trust me it feels better after
- Do something that makes you happy … write, go to your favorite restaurant, go to a movie, go buy something you like, go to the spa, hang out with your friends
- Talk to someone you trust … don’t keep it to yourself, let it out and the more you talk about it the easier it is to deal with but DON’T repeat the same story to the same person 100 times, just talk about your emotions, for example “today I’m feeling really sad” or “today is a better day”
- Don’t over analyze every single word they said and action they did … what they did in good times and bad they did at that moment in time, it doesn’t mean that it was significant to your current situation … it is what it is, analyzing will only make you feel worse
- Surround yourself with people who care about you … this is essential, friends and family will be your rock at this time (I am extremely grateful to my friends (on/offline) and my family)
- Be productive … work work work, focus on something else, do what you love to do
- Take care of your health … make sure to eat and stay active (OK I am guilty of not having eaten very much for the past little while but I am starting to get better because I want to go back to the gym SOON)
- Don’t harm yourself … if you feel like you want to do something to harm yourself please make sure to talk to someone ASAP (even send me a message if you want)
- Boost your ego … do something to boost your ego like buy a new outfit, get a makeover and go out on the town also look at what is GOOD in your life and focus on that
The important thing is to try and stay positive (as hard as that sounds). Deal with the situation maturely and be true to yourself. That’s what is essential. You cannot get over this if you don’t let yourself go through the healing process like every other sickness and pain you’ve endured. Sometimes it takes longer than others, sometimes there is a scar left over, but you will heal and you will get stronger day by day. I know I am, one day at a time. It still hurts, but I know I am better than this and I deserve better than this …
You know what I’ve realized? Boy am I strong!! Super Suzie out to conquer the universe one asshole at a time …
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
I literally hear you. I have had the same myself. Real pain. Come to me and I will make you feel safe. Failing that for a small fee I will beat the crap out of him or her.
It is a real pain Lawrence … but friends like you definitely make it easier to handle. Thanks for the support! XO
Nice article, Ms. Suzie. Sorry to hear that you, too, had to go through this. It’s a very timely article from my own perspective, and I’ve employed all of the recommended techniques in your article over the last 7 months—not that I ever considered harming myself, I’m too egotistical for that.. 😉
Well, if nothing else, there’s a bunch of guys happy that you’re now back on the market 😀
Thanks Mr. Divorced Dad! I have been getting lots of offers LOL … but I will take some ME time for now to heal. Life lessons learned!!
Reblogged this on Through A Windshield and commented:
Great article once again! I read somewhere that your heart actually stops for a second or so when it feels intense pain (Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know).
Broken hearts are the hardest to handle. It’s sad that some people become so numb after experiencing something like this that they harm themselves to feel again.
Thanks for the reblog! Broken hearts, true, are part of life. We need to experience them, learn from it and move forward. On to the next!!!
I’m so sorry to hear you’re hurting. I remember the precise moment that my heart broke and yes, it is absolutely a teeth-gritting, stomach churning, breath stopping, physical pain. I wanted to add to your list: Music helped me heal immensely. I listened to songs that expressed my emotions and it helped me to name my feelings and to realize that I was not the only person that had felt this pain before. Healing hurts, but the hurt will heal.
Thank you so much 🙂 It’s a process and I know that, but it gets better each day because I am determined that it will be better and that I am worth more than the broken heart. I agree, music plays a BIG part. Happy music!
Mine is like a dull ache. it’s not too deep but always there- a constant reminder of something missing.
Yes, a dull ache is not fun, everything reminds you of them. How do you get past it? I think focusing on yourself and what’s best for you is a start 🙂
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To Super Suzie,
I really enjoy reading your blogs as they are well written and from the heart. If you have time and would like, I invite you to read my blog. I am newly single and embracing this crazy new world that I live in, one day at a time. I created my blog in hopes of sharing my struggles, joys, challenges, good days and bad days with other single women.
Keep up the great writing,
Thanks for your comment Christie! I’m really glad you enjoy reading my blogs! I will definitely check out your site. The newly single world is a challenging one but also can be fun … embracing it one day at a time is the best approach! Wishing you all the best!
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I am so hurt right now I dnt even know how or where to start
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