What To Talk About On The First Date

I have been on a lot (I mean A LOT) of first dates!  Although each one is unique, they also need their own script.  We worry about how we look, but what about what we say?  In this post I speak about what works for me …

What To Talk About On The First Date

Has that thought ever crossed your mind? It’s hard enough getting that date sometimes, and then you have to think about what to say. You want to make a great first impression and get to date number two! So you pick out a nice outfit, fix your hair, brush your teeth … put your best foot forward. But then, you get there and because you are nervous you fumble all your words and make an ass of yourself. Sound familiar? One thing you can do to avoid this problem is to prepare your conversation topics in advance. There are some subjects that should be avoided and others best to use when on your first date. Here are some that have worked (or not) for me!

What To Talk About On The First Date

Avoid These

Past Relationships – One of the biggest mistakes people make is to talk about their past relationships on a first date. There’s nothing wrong with mentioning an ex in conversation if it is relevant, but there IS something wrong with going on and on about how horrible your ex was. Leave the past in the past; you are trying to make a future with the person sitting across from you. Live in the present, enjoy the moment, and forget your ex.
Off-Color Jokes – Do not, I repeat, do not tell off-color jokes on a first date. These include any joke that degrades any person, place or thing. Not only will you be labeled as someone who discriminates others, but you could make your date feel uncomfortable.
Health – No one wants to hear about the pimple on your ass … nor do they want to hear about the rash on your back that no doctor can figure out. The only time anything health related should be disclosed is if you have a food allergy that will affect your date in any way. It’s a first date, no need to be that open. Any serious illnesses can be disclosed after date 2. No need to open that door early on.
Sex – This is a very personal topic and shouldn’t be discussed on the first date. You are trying to get to know the person and assess whether or not to see them again. Talking about sex can give the wrong impression and can possibly make sex happen … unless you want that, don’t talk about it.

Try These Instead

Travel – Talk about places you’ve been and places you’ve always wanted to go. This could be a very interesting discussion for both. Speaking about why you travel where you do and what keeps you going back or why you’ve always wanted to visit somewhere is a great way to show who you are.
Pastimes – It’s important to see if what you enjoy doing is compatible. What do you enjoy doing in your free time? Do you go to the gym, take a class, paint, write or read? Do you have some of these activities in common? Can you do them together?
Interests – Talk about what floats your boat. What are your passions? What are your talents? What job would you do for free? Do you like watching documentaries? Are you an outdoorsy kind of person? Are you a foodie?
Family – Talk about your siblings, about experiences growing up, happy memories.

Here are some fun questions you could ask:

  • If you could meet anyone from any time in history who would it be?
  • What is the most interesting thing you’ve ever done?
  • What would you most like to be remembered for?
  • What is the best gift you’ve ever received?

These are just some that I’ve found useful and interesting. The important thing is that you are true to you! Be yourself and have fun. You do want to make a good impression but do it being yourself. What’s important is that your first date helps you determine whether or not you will move forward to date number two. So do what you can to make sure you have all the tools you need to make that decision.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva

Originally published as a guest post on We Love Dates: What To Talk About On The First Date

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