The first date. I’ve been on a lot of those lately, I mean A LOT. Some good, most average, some not so good. It got me thinking, what makes a good first date and what makes a disastrous first date? Well, I have to say personally I always put my best foot forward on any date. I always look good and bring my A-game, even if I realize I’m not interested in the person. Hey, what can I say, I like to leave a good impression regardless. I am the Single Dating Diva you know!
Some Fun First Date Follies
Here are some of the guys I’ve met, most of them recently. All those I’ve been dating are weeded out of a much bigger list and met my basic standards, or so I thought. Needless to say, there was no second date even though they all wanted one.
- A guy who wore a clearly dirty shirt. A big stain right in the front (you don’t own any clean shirts?)
- A guy who smelled funny. It wasn’t BO, it wasn’t food … it was another one of those mystery smells (what ever happened to showers?)
- A guy who felt quite proud that he bought the tea I was drinking (thank you can I give you back the $1.50 please?)
- A guy who kept telling me that he couldn’t afford this and that basic thing even though apparently he had a good job (um if you can’t manage your finances at 40 then there’s a problem)
- A guy who kept telling me what a great catch he was and why he was a great catch and didn’t know why he was still single because he was such a great catch (blah blah blah … next!)
- A guy who kept telling me I was beautiful, smart and sexy (OK not a big deal, right? actually I won’t lie it’s great to hear, but when that was most of the conversation it left a lot to be desired)
- A guy who was so boring I wanted to leave after 15 minutes (I tried to bring up subjects, but he was a one word wonder, yes, no, I don’t know … blah)
- A guy who kept interrupting OTHER people’s conversations at the restaurant and gave his opinion then would come back to our conversation (how embarrassing, mind your own business and talk to me!!)
- A guy with no social or gentlemanly skills whatsoever (didn’t even hold the door open for me and was rude to the people at the coffee shop)
- An otherwise very attractive, intelligent man who arrived in a ratty old t-shirt and jeans for drinks and a backpack (what the hell? we aren’t 12 and I don’t need a project)
- A guy who worked with his hands who told me how he was very talented with his fingers and could “please” me like no other and offered to stick his finger, um, somewhere the sun doesn’t shine, to prove to me that his fingers were magic (What. The. F.?)
- I can’t talk about first dates without talking about my all time craziest experience … who could ever forget the guy who, you know, pulled his penis out on the first date … yes, pulled it out, in public (if you remember I asked him if he wanted me to leave them alone, then, I did, I left them alone)
Making a Good First Date Impression
OK, I’ve written about this before and it’s worth repeating because clearly it hasn’t sunk in … That First Date talks about what to consider before, during and after the date and my post What To Talk About On The First Date for some ideas so I won’t repeat myself, but, regardless of what I’ve written and what you’ve read and heard countless times from many other writers, coaches and friends, men and women STILL perform poorly on first dates. What is the problem? Well, I’m sure nerves play a big part, some people are just serial first daters and aren’t really looking for something real, but most people just don’t consciously put their best foot forward.
You need to make a good impression on the first date!! First impressions DO count. For goodness sake put on a clean shirt and take a shower!! This is BASIC!! This person is definitely analyzing whether or not to keep dating you. Why on earth would you self sabotage? Like for example the guys mentioned above who came with dirty clothes, came smelling bad or even the ones who had nothing interesting to say … they made a conscious decision to put THAT foot forward, why? Wonder why you’re still single? THAT’S WHY!!!
What makes a good date? Well, a good impression physically and a great conversation, regardless of what you’re doing. What makes a date disastrous? Well, doing or saying something that totally turns the other person off. Some people just don’t fit the bill, and that’s OK. I am still single because I am particular about what kind of man I want to be with and who I date, I make bad choices too, but I know what I’m looking for and won’t settle into a relationship just to not be single anymore. If I really didn’t want to be single I could be with someone anytime I want, but I want the right someone not just any someone. I do love to date and meet new people and definitely have been pleasantly surprised before. One thing I always do regardless is put my best foot forward and bring my A-game to EVERY date. I always make a good impression because, you know, I wouldn’t want to be someone else’s story LOL …
Tell me about some of your first date follies! I would love to hear about them in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
I went on a date with an older gentleman (in hindsight, bad idea!) Who told me on the first date he couldn’t have any more kids and then groped my bum and bit my lip…aggressively, at the end!
thanks for the comment 🙂 no excuse for bad behavior like that!!
Personally, thinking back at first dates I have been on over the years, the ones that resulted in longer term relationships, good quality relationships, there were a few common qualities. a) the first dates were NOT remarkable b) nothing went too wrong on the dates (no turn-offs either way) c) lots and lots of talking about everything d) the dates lasted a considerable length of time (greater than 2 hours..have done almost 5 hours) e) dates ended in a hug and some post date text messages when we got to our homes.
It seems to be the two biggest takeaways are to get along and not doing anything that screws up or turns the other person off.
thanks for the comment John 🙂 I do agree with your list … and DEFINITELY getting along and mutual attraction are key!
Wow! Maybe someone paid all these guys to be idiots so they’d look good when they finally had their chance?!
thanks for the comment 🙂 lol maybe … ha ha
First dates are always an adventure!
I had one gentleman, who, while he was waiting for me, had one too many beverages.Upon arrival, he immediately begins to tell me how excited his ex-wife is for us and can’t wait to hear all about our date..(first red flag). I shrug it off, moving on, he begins to tell me about how he only has one testicle, but DON’T WORRY, the other one still works just fine (can I order my drink first? Try something like, “How was your day?”). Finally, I get my drink, and by now he is half in the bag… the evening didn’t last much longer!
First date successes always have a great story too, but the key is to keep it light, have a good time, and stay sober!
Needless to say, neither of us contacted one another again..lol
Good luck peeps!
thanks for the comment Sabrina 🙂 talk about oversharing!! not an ideal scenario for sure!!
Clean shirts aside, why does someone have to go so far out of their way to act like something they aren’t? Don’t you WANT to know this on a first date?
Jeans and t-shirt – that’s who he is.
Mr. One-word answer – maybe he thinks you talk too much!!
Mr. “i’m a great catch” (but he’s still single). Well SDD, you too are still single!
Maybe be a little less judgmental about everyone else.
thanks for the comment “name withheld”:) it’s true there are different perspectives, but you’re sadly mistaken about your judgement of what I wrote. We are all looking for the right fit and the important thing is to keep trying and have fun doing it. No judgement, but you need to be able to laugh at yourself and your experiences in order to make it a more enjoyable ride! Thanks for stopping by!!
BAHAHAHAHA!! You CRACK me up! those are some great first date follies. LOVE!
Thanks Lisa Jey!! I do meet the most, um, “interesting” people!! LOL!!
Chicky baby – you ain’t seen nothin’ til you’ve had the slow-drive-by-mysterious-drop-off, which seemed like a drug-deal-drop-off… on the first date! LOL!!!!
Oh MsCheevious … you win on that one!!! LOL!!
I wouldn’t be going on a second date with any of those guys either, but I’m curious how you even got as far as a first date with them. Did they go downhill after you agreed to meet them or were they blind dates? I’m thinking there must be a way to avoid some of these but I’m not sure how you’re meeting them.
Thanks for your comment Ana! I meet guys different ways, but, it’s hard to prescreen things like that. Everyone says what they need to say and do what they need to do to get that date. For example, if you meet someone online they may be great on paper and nice to talk to but you have no idea that they have bad personal hygiene issues, right? Some things you can assess, some you can’t. Thanks again!
Oh I get it. Online contact especially can hide a multitude of sins though I expect you have some nice surprises too with that. Two of my friends met their partners online (one is now married to her online guy and the other living with hers) so it’s not all bad.
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