I’ve had some discussions with friends and some of my followers about partners who make promises that they don’t keep. I mean, it certainly happens to me, which is why I wrote my post called “The Road To Hell Is Paved With Good Intentions” where I spoke about people who make promises, and perhaps mean them at the time, but never follow through. That inspired some great discussions about when a lot of these promises happen … in the bedroom, post sex … essentially, they are post orgasmic promises.
Why does this happen? I believe it has to do with all those “feel good hormones” that are released after sex, more specifically after orgasm. There are so many of these hormones and each plays a role in post orgasmic promises. In that state of euphoria a person just feels so satisfied and feels so strongly about the other person, even if they’re not in a relationship, that they just want to give them the world. You can read more about what they are and how they affect you in this article called Chemicals That Fuel Your Sex Life.
Women have used this to their advantage for thousands of years, the courtesans were experts at this. Essentially, these women would provide complete satisfaction, make these men of substance feel like kings and these men would give them anything they wanted. Is there anything wrong with this? No, not at all, it’s a business transaction of sorts. You make me feel good and I will give you the world. Well, assuming they keep their promises.
Unfortunately, on the most part, these men (or women) make promises they don’t keep. At that moment the “happy” person wants to give back and loves their partner and is in a state of ecstasy. They will promise them anything that would make them happy, and, they most likely mean it at that moment in time, however, when their high diminishes, they reconsider, and many times don’t follow through.
So should you ever trust a post orgasmic promise? I say no, never, take it with a grain of salt. Accept it for what it is, feel good hormones at play. Go back and revisit the promise after the fact. It will also show you a person’s integrity.
What to do? Have fun, do what feels good … but don’t make promises you can’t keep!
Have you ever been on either end of the post orgasmic promises spectrum?? I would love to hear about it 🙂
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Very intresting post, I’ve never really thought about it like that. I mean, I know my boyfriend hates going back on his word so I’ll slip in little things just after such as ‘oh, you can hoover tomorrow right’ and usually get the yes that he will later stick too. I think if it’s only silly things it’s fine. I don’t think he’s really said much after, he’s a bit of a silent cuddler so I guess maybe that’s why. While on the subject…pre orgasmic promises can also be mentioned, when a guy is that horney that he will agree to pretty much anything just to get you to shut up!
Thanks for your comment! You’re right per should also discussed since that’s what gets you there to begin with!
You’re very welcome 🙂
How did this one slip through the cracks? Woman! you are a WRITING machine! HA. I have had throughout my life, such a difficult time with this issue. Mostly because I am a man’s girl… meaning, I can REALLY take the truth. If we’ve had the absolute best sex of a lifetime, and you tell me the next day that you are not available for a relationship. it was a one time thing that you really needed, and enjoyed,… etc.. guess what? I CAN TAKE IT. I will probably move along much quicker knowing the TRUTH. OY. Don’t get me started. Great post. And guys? Don’t make promises…. and don’t EVER use the excuse that you didn’t want to hurt my feelings… LAME. 🙂
Truth? What’s that? Most people don’t know the meaning of the word. They don’t have the balls to tell a girl the truth so they tell her what she wants to hear. It’s sad really, but it’s the reality we single ladies face daily. Men need to grow a pair!
What if your partner makes you promise things to achieve an orgasm?
Hi Shelley … That’s a little different than what the article implies.
Oh man. Been there. Either just before, during or after ‘the big O’. I have nearly, totally accidentally said the ‘L Word’ a couple of times. It is such an out of body experience, my brain is somewhat disengaged at that point :p
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