Dating Deal Breakers! What a topic! We’ve all got them haven’t we? I know I sure do! In researching this post I thought a lot about what sorts of things that are stop signs for me in dating. I certainly know what I define as settling or not, I’ve spoken about this before. But, essentially, I am looking for the right person, not just any person. I’m not picky, just know what I want and won’t settle for anything less than what I want, and deserve. I settled before and ended up divorced. Not going to do that again.
Dating Deal Breakers
I wanted to see what other people had to say their deal breakers were and I came across this article on Ask Men about men’s top 10 deal breakers and loved their list, here it is:
- Doesn’t Back You Up
- Flirts With Others
- Neglects You Publicly
- Criticizes You
- Disappears Without Telling You
- Abuses You
- Scolds You Publicly
- Has A Substance Abuse Problem
What Are My Dating Deal Breakers?
You know what? I totally agree with all those things … definitely, undeniably agree that those would be on my dating deal breaker list. What would I add? I would add that they are not established in their life. On the top of my list is someone who has their life in order. At my age (30 something), it’s essential. That is one of the things I won’t back down about. Also, for me a guy’s got to have style. I’m still on the fence about whether I want a guy with kids or not, but I’m leaning strongly towards not dating men with kids. Just how I feel. But really, everything on that list above is really about respect, honesty and trust. Those are the concrete that any relationship can base itself on. If while you’re dating they aren’t present, then the relationship is doomed.
What things are really important to you in a relationship and what things are stop signs? So how do you establish your dating deal breakers? Well, sit and think about what things are really important to you in a relationship. What sorts of things are stop signs for you … things you cannot tolerate in a potential partner? Also, what sorts of things are your dating pet peeves? These are mine and boy do they drive me nuts! Deal Breakers!! You need to establish these deal breakers for yourself before going past the first date with someone. Why waste your time or theirs. Your ultimate goal is to be happy and settling will never make you happy.
Readers: What sorts of things are your dating deal breakers? I would love to hear about them in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
A version of this articled appeared on Singles Warehouse, Your Tango and Gal Time.
I think men and women should create a list of their wants and needs (remembering the importance of character and not just superficial stuff), but I don’t think it should be longer than 7-10 items. Any longer and you may end up ruling out great partners for you!
Yes, it’s true … not to be too picky, but I think there are some things we do need to stand our ground on. For me being gainfully employed is a big one I won’t budge on. Thanks for the comment Neely!
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