We all know I’m not one to give second chances or believe that people change. Recently, we’ve seen many celebrity couples reuniting after breaking up – Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez, Robert Pattinson & Kristin Stewart, Rihanna & Chris Brown just to name a few. It’s got me thinking, is this going to be a new trend … will others be influenced to give it another go if their celebrity icons did it. It’s easy to second guess your decision to breakup, to think wishfully about the “woulda, coulda, shoulda” and to remember all the “good times”. That’s really WHY people get back together, but should they? And, if they do get back together, can it work?
Some Things to Consider When Reuniting With an Ex
I read this great article called Reconnect with the Ex? What You Need to Know Before You Give It Another Go. The author had some great insights about what sorts of things you should think about before moving forward with reuniting.
1. Make sure you’re reuniting for the right reasons
Your intentions in this case are paramount. You need to know why you want to reunite. Is there a genuine desire to be with this other person out of love and respect or is it because you’re lonely, can’t find anyone better, or, out of jealousy. If you both feel you have something worth fighting for and you think that you can work out the problems in a mutually beneficial way, then proceed, otherwise you need to reconsider.
2. Understand the odds against you
I’ve always said that if something ended there was a pretty good reason it ended and chances are those reasons will always be there. When we’re considering reuniting with someone it’s important to look at things realistically and know that things might not change. Chances are that the reunification might not be what you expected or thought it would be. Besides, the desire for getting back together might be on your side only, so be realistic.
3. Be willing to leave the past behind
Ever heard of forgiving but not forgetting? Essentially, you need to be able to forgive past hurts and things your partner has done to you in favor of starting new. That doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but it does mean letting it go. This doesn’t give you the right to remind them of what they did every chance you get. Letting go means just that, dropping it and moving on without it.
4. It takes two to tango (and make it work)
As I stated earlier, you need to make sure your ex-partner is on the same page as you when it comes to wanting to give the relationship another chance. Both partners must be willing to invest and start fresh. It can’t be one sided. You need to deal with whatever issues you had and both be willing tomove forward together, making it work, together.
Reuniting with an ex can be challenging. It’s usually not a smooth road ahead for the couple and there has to be a willingness to really make it work. So is being reunited a good feeling? Sure it is … does it last? After reading some more, I might reconsider my original hesitation against getting back together depending on what the break up was about. I would say if both people are committed to making it work, then why not, give it a try.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
Originally Published on Singles Warehouse
You are wise beyond your years, young lady…
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