Christmas and the Single Girl

So this is Christmas … and what have we done?  Well, I’ll tell you what I’ve done this past week.  Nothing.  I’ve been home very sick, feeling sorry for myself.  I did, however, manage to get through four seasons of Mad Men, which kind of depressed me even more because it only confirmed my theory, and experience, that life revolves around sex and that who holds the sex, holds the power.  Everyone cheats given the right circumstances and opportunities.  I know it’s fictional TV, but it’s the reality I’ve experienced and been witness to since my divorce.  I divide my life into sections… there’s my childhood/teenage sections, my pre-marriage section, my marriage section and now my post-marriage/divorce section.  In each one, my eyes have been opened more and more to the realities of the world.  Post-marriage/divorce has been the biggest eye opener of all.  It’s like “welcome to the degenerate club, now we’ll let you see all the licentiousness the world has to offer”.  Well, perhaps that’s why I’m so jaded and have low expectations of humanity, and men in general.  But … Christmas and the Single Girl? Well …

‘Tis the Season to be Merry?

‘Tis the season to be merry? happy? um, no.  This year I gave away all my Christmas decorations to friends.  I didn’t want them anymore.  Why?  Well, firstly, they represented a different time in my life, and represented the marriage section of my life which is over.  I felt they could be better enjoyed elsewhere, and they are (someone else can kiss under that mistletoe).  I did put up a wreath and a couple little things I like, but no tree.  It’s not that I don’t want to celebrate Christmas, it’s just that I’ve never liked the holiday.  Perhaps that’s why I have my tradition of watching A Christmas Carol every year, just to remind me and give me a boost.  Christmas and New Year’s have always been negative times for me.  Always.  Regardless of how hard I tried.  Even when I wasn’t single … but now that I’m divorced (and single and divorced are not synonymous no matter what people say!)? Well …

Christmas and the Single Girl

christmas and the single girlSingle and Fabulous! That’s what I always say.  Put your best foot forward ALWAYS.  I do that.  Even when I was hauling my ass to the doctor three times last week (once during a big snow storm) I looked good doing it.  Never let the world know you’re sick or miserable … it’s not their business.  This is how I will survive the holidays … single and fabulous!  No feeling sorry for myself.  I will enjoy my family and friends as much as possible (I’ve already spent lots and lots of money on my niece and nephew and will enjoy watching their faces as they open their gifts).  I will feel physically better (regardless of my pain), even though I can’t drink (stupid antibiotics).  I will be grateful for what I do have and the people in my life (and all of you!).  See, there, it’s not so bad!

Now … Santa Baby, yes I’ve been naughty, very very naughty … but you knew that already 😉 … but hurry down the chimney with those Louboutins I want … and diamonds, I like those too … hmm a trip to Italy … oh and one more little thing … fill my stocking with a sexy man wearing nothing but, um stockings …. I promise to be better next year!  Now, I’m going to put on my Christmas lingerie for ME and let you enjoy my favorite Christmas song ever!

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. SDD, You took the words right out of my head! I too will make the best of this season and as dissappointed as I have been with the dating field and men in general this past year, I still have hope to find a great, funny, hot guy for me in 2013. I wish the same for all you other fabulous single ladies out there.


  2. I think you are on to something! I have all my Xmas stuff away too because I hate Xmas and I can give you specific reasons why but I don’t feel like any of them speak right from my cold, black heart…..but YES- all MY Xmas memories and enjoyment are from an entirely different time……I am going to analyze this to DEATH!!!

    ” Never let the world know you’re sick or miserable” —- LOVE this!


  3. Thats a wonderful attitude to have. Last year was really difficult to me, and I appreciate being in a better place this year. Still single, but totally happy about it. Get well soon! Panda x


  4. This is my first Christmas since the seperation in April. I have no tree at home, only an outdoor small one on my balcony. I did put out my nativity and cried my eyes out when I was looking through the storage container for it. The last two years, I purchased new decorations after Christmas that were on clearance sale. I refused to look at the ornaments from my marriage especially since I cried like a baby looking at the ornaments that have never been used.

    I had quite a few invites to attend friends homes, but instead, drove 8 hours to spend two days in Atlanta with my son. I thought getting away would make it better, but again, I have cried all day. This is the first year, in 22 years of having children, that I am not decorating, cooking, and cleaning. The sad thing is, I am sad that no one misses me. I passed my ex husband on the way out of town, he stared straight ahead, though I know he saw me. My oldest has phoned his brother three times while they were opening presents at their dads, my phone has sat silent. Every year I would eagerly cook for two days, decorate the house for days and shop for weeks, making sure the perfect gifts, were wrapped in the perfect paper, and placed under the perfect tree. No one misses that but me and my heart is hurting.

    I keep trying to find my fabulous side, but it seems to be drowning in self pity.

    Thanks for sharing your Christmas story, not to sound like misery loves company, but its nice to know that I am not “alone” in my feelings of self pity and isolation.


    • Thank you for sharing. I’m so sorry for your pain … But I know how difficult it is, especially after so many years of marriage. All I can say is that it can only get better not any worse. Wishing you happiness.


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