Ask Single Dating Diva: Dating After Divorce

Dating after divorce is quite challenging, one I know first hand. There is the risk of rebounding too quickly or the opposite, being gun shy. It’s really all about doing what feels comfortable or right.

Dear Single Dating Diva,

dating after divorceI’ve recently divorced and I was wondering how soon is too soon to start dating after a divorce? I’m afraid of falling into a rebound relationship but I don’t want to be alone.  What should I do?

Sincerely,

Cautiously Confused

Dating After Divorce

Dear Cautiously Confused,

Thank you for your question! I totally know where you’re coming from.  This question can apply to anyone coming out of any type of long term relationship.  Being divorced myself, I’ve gone through the same thing as you and had the same trepidation.  I think whether you’re ready or not is completely up to you.  What I mean is that it really depends on how you feel.  I will use myself as an example.  My marriage ended way before it actually ended.  By the time we were officially separated, and then divorced, it had been years.  I checked out way before it was officially over.  Once I was completely free, I felt ready to date again, however, it took about two years for me to be ready for another relationship.

Rebound relationships are a risk you have to take.  The best advice I can give is to take it slow.  Don’t rush into anything.  I wrote about rebound relationships a while back, you can read my post The Rebound for more details, but essentially I talk about dating right after a divorce being an ego booster.  Right after leaving a long term relationship you feel at your lowest and these liaisons help you out of your rut.  What’s important is that you’re honest with yourself and the other person you’re dating.  You don’t want to get too attached too fast and you don’t want them getting the wrong impression.

Ask-Single-Dating-DivaI’m all about getting out there and having fun and being your fabulous self, just do it the right way.  See it as an opportunity to start fresh, to re-discover yourself and find the RIGHT person this time around.  That’s what I did.  I dated a lot but it helped me narrow down what makes me happy and what kind of man I want to be with.

Simply put, you know when you’ll be ready to date again.  Just take it slow and have fun.  You’ve been given another chance at finding happiness with someone who is better for you.  Take advantage of this opportunity and find that person … and remember “It’s better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone” (Marilyn Monroe).

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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