As I look back on the past year I reflect on all that has passed. I see it as a year of lessons learned and letting go. It was a difficult year emotionally, physically and mentally. I went through a lot and survived with my head held high, I guess that’s a testament to who I am. My mom always said that “wherever you throw Suzie she lands on her feet”, I guess that’s true. But, I do have to admit I’ve stumbled along the way. New Year, New Love? Well … let’s see where I’ve been before I decide where I’m going.
New Year, New Love? A Retrospective
My year started with a very hopeful and potentially great relationship with a guy who turned out to be engaged. You can read about Mr. Z here. I really did like him and it gave me hope … but my hope was completely crushed by his “I can’t decide between you” revelation (well, I decided FOR him). It prompted me to take a dating hiatus. I went on Dating Strike for a while, which, I have to admit, helped me re-focus and re-assess the priorities in my life. It led me to notice someone who was in my life for a while, with whom I never really pursued anything further before. We starting speaking more and more and realized we did have feelings for each other and wanted to see if it could be something more. It ended up being one of the biggest hardships of the whole year. The thing that all but destroyed my faith in love and relationships. He was the last person I thought would hurt me, and yet, my Knight in Shining Armour ended up a dud. I think that experience took the worst toll on me last year. It truly made me cynical about relationships but I still try to be positive.
Back to my year, I went Speed Dating and I dated a few other people, but alas, no one worth my time or effort emerged. No one stood out from the crowd. Perhaps I am jaded, perhaps I have lost faith and hope in finding what I want … but is it just me or is this dating business exhausting? I really don’t hate men like some might think, quite the contrary … I hate their actions, yes, but don’t hate them. That is why I persevere and keep going when all hope seems to be lost. Each bad experience is a lesson learned about choices I’ve made. Nothing wrong with that! At least I’m trying and living and having a great time doing it!!
New Year, New Love?
Well, no, I don’t think I will make new love the focal point of my year. I think I will focus on making myself better and more independent. I will continue on the positive path. If someone who I deem worthy and compatible wants to walk alongside me in the same direction they are welcome to. However, although it would be nice to have someone in my life, I don’t need someone to walk with me. I have come to that realization too. I am surrounded by so many great people who love me and care for me immensely and that’s worth oh so much more than a man in my life. My life hasn’t turned out in any way how I expected it to and I imagine things aren’t going to change anytime soon. So, what are my new year’s resolutions?
I resolve to be a better me. I resolve to be there for those who need me. I resolve to be a positive influence on others. I resolve to learn new things and discover new places. I resolve to take care of myself physically, emotionally and mentally. I resolve to think positively about every situation. I resolve to be happy regardless of my relationship status. I resolve to travel more. I resolve to spend more time with those family and friends who matter most. I resolve to do good.
Remember, my friends, take care of YOU first because YOU are more important than anyone else. No one is better able to care for you other than you and, if you take care of yourself, then you are better able to care for others. Also remember that love fades, but a partnership doesn’t. Think of the relationship as the package and love just makes the package prettier, but a pretty package means nothing if the box is empty, right? Plain. Simple.
Wishing each and every one of you nothing but health, happiness, prosperity and all the love your heart desires. May you have everything you wish for. Happy 2013!! May it be the best year ever for ALL of us!!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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