Is Junk Sex as Bad as Junk Food? is what one academic asked in one of his articles. Well, that caught my attention immediately. First I thought, “what’s junk sex?”. Is it the same as Casual Sex? Booty Calls? Or is it just plain old Bad Sex? I checked the Urban Dictionary and they had a pretty good, thought provoking, description:
We all know what junk food is. And we know what happens to us when we make a steady diet of it. Junk sex is like junk food – not bad enough to avoid, but definitely not good enough to make a steady diet of. The effects of junk sex include outbreaks of unhealthy relationships and a malnourished emotional life, and self-destructive behavior like spending way too much time at the gym. In addition to physical symptoms such as irritability, pain, and sexually-transmitted diseases. Junk sex, particularly media-induced junk sex, leads to a vicious cycle of empty sexual encounters and soul-sucking loneliness, and the obsessive preoccupation with our skin.
Wow! That’s pretty powerful. So is Junk Sex as bad as junk food and is Junk Sex the same as Casual Sex. Well, ya, I would say the words – junk sex and casual sex – could definitely be interchangeable. I have discussed before how I feel that sex is what’s wrong with dating and that is because of this tendency to put sex first and “getting to know you” second. But, is it really bad for our health in the same way that junk food is?
Is Junk Sex Bad For You?
Well, we all know that eating fast food and things with little to no nutritional value is bad for us. Most people try to maintain a healthy lifestyle by only indulging in these things once in a while, most, not all, people. The occasional high fat meal won’t hurt, however, eating it often will. There’s no disputing that a diet high in fat, sugar, salt and calories will make you unhealthy and lacks in nutritional value. But, it tastes so good doesn’t it. Give me a bag of chips and see how I devour it … I can’t just have a couple, I will eat the whole bag. This is why I don’t bring that stuff into my house. Not to mention cheese … especially the extra creamy fatty ones … mmm cheese (extra creamy French Roquefort or garlicky Boursin is one of the ways to my heart). Wait, where were we, oh yes, eating food that’s bad for us. So OK I get it, stuff that’s bad for us is very appealing. It’s the same thing for Casual Sex … it really does have its appeal, but is it bad for us? Or, like Junk Food, is Junk Sex OK in moderation?
The author in the above mentioned article states that “In comparing junk food to junk sex, intimacy might be considered to be the “nutritional value” of sex … intimacy involves a feeling of closeness and belonging, which are vital of healthy sex.” I’ve talked before about this. How sex is oh so much better with someone you care about. You want to please them and they want to please you. You are left feeling truly satisfied inside and out. THAT is good and healthy sex. It’s not about instant gratification … it’s about long term satisfaction. I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes that instant gratification is irresistible … we want it and we want it now and don’t care what it takes to get it and what the repercussions are. But, how do we feel AFTER we have eaten that huge plate of nachos or that big basket of deep fried whatever? We feel gross and we regret what we just did … and we know we’re going to pay for it later. It usually, um, comes back to haunt us in a day or two.
The same goes for junk sex … you get that instant satisfaction but it makes you feel gross after. You might be able to dismiss it once or twice or even three times, but after a while it takes a toll on your mental health. You end up with an unbalanced type of sexual encounter that can become addictive because you like that instant gratification but then you feel guilty or gross and it’s a vicious cycle of bad sex and unhealthy encounters. Some people like this junk sex experience so much (just as with junk food) that they are not able to enter into healthy romantic relationships with others. That’s why, like with all things, balance is key. Casual Sex should be a means to an end with full disclosure of intentions and expectations on the part of BOTH people involved. If you can’t be unemotional then DON’T DO IT. The majority of people are not capable of separating sex from emotions – so know your limits and stay within them.
Is Monogamy the Answer?
Not all monogamous relationships involves quality sex. It’s the connection and intimacy that make sex good within a relationship. In the same way, although it is uncommon, it is possible to have a casual encounter that involves intimacy and a deep connection. In general, however, the more there is love the better it is. When there is love and caring involved in the sexual act then there is a desire for unselfish mutual satisfaction. When it is all about lust and “getting off” then it can be an extremely selfish act. This is what leads to emotional turmoil and feelings of being used, particularly when one partner in a casual encounter develops feelings. So is monogamy the answer, not particularly. The answer is having the right outlook, expectations and intentions.
It’s up to each individual, it is THEIR own responsibility, to ensure that they maintain a healthy, happy lifestyle. This includes eating healthy and staying active. Unhealthy junk food only in moderation. The same applies to junk sex … only in moderation. If you can’t handle it then don’t do it. Sex should be a GOOD experience. Sex shouldn’t be something you aren’t fully enjoying or fully getting satisfaction from … before, during AND after. Sex should never leave you feeling used or empty. It shouldn’t make you sick to your stomach. It shouldn’t make you mentally or physically unhealthy. That, my friends, is why you should avoid junk sex … whether you’re in a relationship or not. Like with anything in your life, you should only keep around those things and people that not only bring out the best in you but also keep you healthy mentally, emotionally and physically. You and your health are the MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world and nothing else matters.
Do you think Junk Sex is like Junk Food? Is it addictive? I would love your thoughts in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva