We all know that physical attraction is important when dating. So, does that translate to weight? Does someone being too skinny or too fat be a problem when dating? Do only people with hot bods deserve to find love? HELL NO! The world comes in all shapes and sizes and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Personally, I don’t like dating guys who are thinner than me. I don’t want someone who’s unhealthy, but a little meat on the bones does makes a man more cuddly and not to mention that you aren’t worried about eating in front of them … I know, shallow, right? Nah … I’m not the only one. I was happy to read the following “Ode to Husky Guys” the other day on Cosmo. It made answering this reader’s question much easier …
Dear Single Dating Diva,
I’m a bigger guy. OK I’m pretty heavy but I’m healthy. I love to eat but I try to also stay active. OK so I don’t go to the gym a lot, but I do walk and take the stairs when I can. I do enjoy eating food I probably shouldn’t eat, but I don’t indulge that often. Do I belong on the cover of a GQ magazine, no, but, I am a great guy with a lot to offer. I’m fun, I have a good head on my shoulders, have a good job and quite social. I am pretty confident, not self conscious about my weight either. I don’t have that much trouble meeting women but I’m not as successful as I would like to be. I have tried online dating and just meeting women through friends. I just feel that some women don’t give me a chance because I’m bigger. I want to know, do women really care about weight? Is my being overweight hurting my chances at finding love?
A Whole Lot To Love
Dear a Whole Lot To Love,
Thank you for reaching out and for your question, it’s a good one. Short answer is no, being overweight shouldn’t be hurting your chances at finding love. Long answer? Although it shouldn’t be hurting your chances, it might limit your choices. How? Well, you might not get George Clooney’s leftovers, but, in all reality, who does?
Dating and Weight
Dating and weight really has to do with personal preference and attraction. Not everyone is attracted to every type of person. Some prefer skinny, some don’t like them at all. Some prefer overweight people, others do not. The number of overweight people in the world is rising higher and higher every day. Some of the largest people in the world are in countries such as the United States and even the United Kingdom as well as other Western countries as per a study done earlier this year. So are these people less lovable? Not a chance! On the contrary, there’s more to love!
What’s important is that you are healthy and active, confident and true to yourself. Know WHO you are and WHAT you have to offer. I have seen some larger guys who have some pretty hot women, why? Because they are confident and put their best foot forward. They are attractive to these women because of who they are not what they are.
More Than the Sum of Your Parts
You are more than the sum of your parts, but you knew that already. You just need to know that while you can’t hit a home run every time you try, you will find someone who will want you for you. You aren’t any different than anyone else. Some women actually PREFER larger men. What women want is a REAL MAN. They want someone who’s assertive, confident and well put together. They don’t want a special project or someone they have to “fix”. Be that man and you’ll have absolutely no problem meeting women. As one of my friends put it, women want a man who is “polished”.
Women who are larger, same thing, if you are confident, happy and positive then men won’t notice your weight. It’s true … when you’re self conscious and make excuses for eating or that you’re “bloated” or whatever then the men notice it more and more, but, if you never mention your weight and just go along your business like there’s nothing wrong with you then trust me, men won’t care. Most men like a woman who’s got a bit of meat on her but they don’t like a woman who hates herself and always putting herself down. When you are always saying how fat and ugly you are others will start to believe you even if you aren’t fat and ugly they will start seeing you as fat and ugly.
What’s important, first and foremost, is that you’re healthy. Maintain a healthy lifestyle, eat right and stay active. Even if you’re not thin it’s OK and doesn’t make you less worthy of dating than anyone else. You just have to be true to who you are. Remember, confidence is key. Love yourself and others will follow suit.
OK Readers chime in! What do you think does dating and weight matter? Do you prefer bigger or smaller or average people? Do you even care? I would love to hear about it in the comments!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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