Dating a Work in Progress – Stay Away!

Dating-a-work-in-ProgressSo you think you’re the fairy godmother/godfather and you can just wave your magic wand and make someone the perfect partner? You can’t resist dating a work in progress can you? You’ll be their hero and save them.  All they need is a little TLC, right? WRONG!!  Who’s the work in progress? Well …

  • are they overweight and really insecure about it?
  • are they an ass?
  • are they their own worst enemy, self-sabotaging themselves all the time?
  • are they always getting into some sort of trouble?
  • do they have an addiction?
  • they can’t hold down a steady job?
  • they fail at everything they try at?
  • do they think that the whole world is out to get them?
  • do they always have a get rich quick scheme?
  • are they always hitting you up for cash?
  • do they have trouble prioritizing things?
  • are they not over their previous relationship?
  • do they have heavy baggage?
  • their social graces leave a lot to be desired?
  • do they tell bad jokes and call it a sense of humor?
  • do you wonder if they were dropped on their head several times as a child?
  • they don’t keep their word.

You get the picture of what dating a work in progress is … so you gonna save them? You know you wanna … all they need is a little love … all they need is a little help getting on their feet … all they need is YOU!! You can save them from themselves.  You LOVE that they need you.  You want to turn that work in progress into your own miracle.  Well, I’m here to tell you to get back into your pumpkin Cinderella … you’re not the Fairy Godmother and you never will be.  Harsh? No way.  I’ve been there done that, more than once – until I learned my lesson – the hard way.

Dating a Work in Progress – Why You Should Stay Away!

dating- a-work-in-progress
Dating a work in progress means shoveling bullshit.

One horoscope profile of mine even spelled it out – apparently I have a “hero” complex. But I’m not the only one.  Most girls want to turn that bad boy good just for her.  They want to help a guy get on his feet and be proud of his accomplishments.  They want to date that fat guy while he’s trying to lose weight and  help him with his confidence.  But you know what? You’re wasting your time.  Why? Well, because more often than not these same guys you help fulfill their full potential will most likely dump your ass when they reach their goals because you know why? In their mind they can do better now that they have more to offer.

I am speaking from personal experience.  I am also speaking from many other women’s personal experience.  I am sure the same is true for men as well.  You need to find someone who is whole.  The whole “finding your other half” is total BS. You need to be a complete person who is seeking another complete person.  You need to have your shit together and find someone who has their shit together as well.  What does that look like? Well, I’ll tell you.

Dating Someone Who Is Whole

Someone who is whole looks something like this …

  • regardless of their weight and looks they are confident and not insecure about it.
  • they are respectful and polite to everyone, especially you.
  • they are ambitious and always setting goals and working hard to achieve them.
  • they don’t get into legal trouble.
  • they aren’t addicted to any substance – including drugs and alcohol.
  • they are gainfully employed in a steady job.
  • they meet the personal goals they set for themselves.
  • they don’t blame others for their troubles and take responsibility for their actions.
  • they don’t waste their time on silliness.
  • they don’t ask you for money, especially for daily necessities.
  • they know how to prioritize things in life, especially putting you first.
  • they have resolved all their previous relationship issues.
  • they have very light baggage if any at all.
  • they aren’t someone you are embarrassed to bring to a party.
  • they know that a sense of humor isn’t about telling jokes but about situational and experiential things.
  • they seem like a normal functional human being.
  • they always keep their word.

So there you go. You want a healthy relationship then think twice about dating a work in progress.  I know it’s nice to feel needed, but be needed for the right reasons by the right person.  Relationships should be mutually beneficial.  By dating a person who is whole and functional then chances are more likely that you won’t have all the drama and the inevitable heartbreak that comes with dating a work in progress.

You deserve to be happy! You deserve not to be used! You deserve not to be dumped for the next best thing.

Have you ever dated a work in progress? What happened? I would love to hear about it in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. This really struck a chord with me – I tend to want to fix/heal people, and a work in progress can be hard to resist. Another warning sign of the WIP I’ve personally experienced: Very early on (WAY too early, usually) he dumps his sob story on you, telling you in great detail about one or more past relationships, how it all went wrong, and how much it wounded him. Guys who do this are often really good at drawing you in and evoking your sympathy. And then you start thinking, I am the woman who can heal his hurts, oh yes I am! It never really works because people have to want and work toward their own healing.

    I freaking LOVE the shoveling road sign – made me laugh! 😀


    • Thanks Katherine! I am so glad you enjoyed the post. You’r right, these WIP are also quite manipulative, they know how to tug at your heartstrings to get what they want. That’s why we should all stay away!!


  2. Ah, yes! It’s like the women who put their spouses through law or medical school and then get dumped. Lucky for me, I have a top 10 list of what I need from a guy…and being mature is near the top. He can’t be addicted, he must believe in God and he has to be ambitious. Couch potatoes or guys looking for a sugar mama needn’t apply! If this helps…when I was working in child protection I learned that your basic personality traits are set by the age of 5. If you think you’re going to motivate a slug, you’re just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Walk away from the WIP (AKA “loser”) and don’t look back.


    • Thanks Lisa. The older we get the less we appreciate these WIP. I think that if you know your own worth and what you deserve then you are less likely to fall into that sort of relationship. A healthy relationship is about give and take and includes inspiring and motivating each other to succeed but you can’t beat a dead horse.


Comments are closed.