Should You Drink Alcohol on a First Date?: Guest Post

As we all know first dates can be very uncomfortable and perhaps a little awkward. Often times to ease the awkward pauses in conversation or tension, daters reach for a glass of wine or beer to relax their nerves. Typically this is a first date standard for many. I know I have been guilty of doing this on almost every date I’ve ever been on. In fact, when I was dating in my early 20’s, I can’t recall a time when alcohol wasn’t involved at some point. The worse the date, the more I drank and honestly it made me feel less nervous, more talkative and confident, and who doesn’t love to feel that way? But, should you drink alcohol on a first date?  I’ve learned there are limits to drinking on the first date and some boundaries that you should follow if you use alcohol to increase your dating “social” skills.

Should You Drink Alcohol on a First Date?

Stick to 2 or 3 Drinks Tops

While drinking socially can certainly ease nerves, it’s probably not a good idea to “get wasted” on a first date. This could not only potentially put you in danger, it’s just not classy and will not make a great first impression too. If you plan on a dinner date use the 3-course drink system that I usually follow. One drink during appetizers or before dinner, one with your meal and one for dessert. Most dates, (if they are good ones) last several hours, which gives you plenty of time to slowly consume a few drinks. Sip and don’t chug. Do not go over the 3 drink minimum and for God’s sake don’t do shots! This will only lead to bad things…things that you might regret! Alcohol on a first date isn’t necessarily a bad thing, too much alcohol on a first date is.

Hydrate Yourself and Eat

It’s very important to drink water with every drink to counteract the alcohol, you don’t want to get drunk and start dishing about why your ex dumped you, right? If you are not planning on a dinner date and just plan on spending a few hours chatting at the bar, make sure to order water, eat before the date or suggest ordering a small plate to share throughout the evening. Don’t starve yourself, alcohol absorbs into the bloodstream much faster on an empty stomach and will make you feel intoxicated very quickly.

Make the Right Decision at the End of the Night

As women, we all know that alcohol increases the libido and sexual arousal and it’s not a secret to men either. While some men may think that getting you all liquored up may mean they are getting lucky after the date, surprise them by keeping the ball in your court and sticking to the drink minimum. Even if you’re with the most attractive person in the world, sleeping with them on the first date is probably not the best idea. The relationship will most likely not go anywhere after that in most cases. If you think drinking will make you not care, the reality check will occur to you once you’re sober the next morning.

Regardless of whether or not you choose to consume alcohol on a first date or not, choose to drink responsibly. Although you think that drink will make you seem more interesting, gain confidence, or simply will help you get in someone’s pants, it’s not necessary or safe to become heavily intoxicated on a date. If you have a history of drinking a bit too much try cutting back or maybe staying completely sober for your next date, or maybe go out with a non-drinker. It’s possible to create confidence without those first few drinks and you can still engage in great conversation while enjoying yourself. The more dates you go on without alcohol, the less you will need alcohol as a crutch to have fun. Try suggesting a date where you can display any skills or talents you may have. This a great way for someone to get to know you that does not involve alcohol.

Personally, I used alcohol to deflect my lack of confidence, and it wasn’t until I learned that there was more to life than the bar scene that I started dating men who didn’t drink. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a nice beer or wine on occasion now and then, but to truly get to know someone on a deeper level alcohol can’t be something that you hide behind.

Thank you Saint Jude Retreats for this guest post. They are a non-12 step non-treatment educational program that concentrates on self-directed positive neuroplastic change and positive self-change as an alternative to traditional alcohol and drug rehab.

Some interesting information on the effects of alcohol …

What Does Alcohol Do To Your Body?

Explore more infographics like this one on the web’s largest information design community – Visually.

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva


  1. Drinking on the first date is mandatory in my book. If a woman doesn’t have a drink it tells me that she has/had a drinking problem and/or has self-control problems when under the influence of alcohol. Once I’ve decided that a woman is not The One and gets relegated to PlayThing, I ply her with alcohol, wait two hours, slowly escalate the conversation towards sex…and, hey presto!, you won’t believe what women will tell me on a first date…life’s more fun when you have a dirty mind and your date is tipsy…


    • Is this a joke? I’m single and dating and currently taking three months off alcohol with – not because a problem with alcohol, I’m an average drinker if you want to put me into a category. Just because I don’t want to drink ALL the time does not mean I have previously had an issue with drinking. If I can’t go out on a date and be ‘myself’ without booze then I think there is something wrong with me. There is no harm in taking a break. Only good can come from it. I am reevaluating the role alcohol plays in my life. To be honest, it’s incredibly satisfying doing anything social without plying myself with alcohol! I am looking forward to having a drink after my three months but instead of smashing back cheap beer or wine, I will be sipping from the top shelf.


  2. I don’t drink much, so it’s not a big deal for me. However, if I take a woman out on a date and she drinks more than two, then I’m going to send a memo to the back of my mind that she may be a party girl. Three or more drinks on a first date just screams “reckless” to me in my personal opinion.


  3. Totally hearing this – a couple is good, as you feel a bit happier and bait more relaxed.. apart from the negative general health effects, any more than that isn’t worth the embarrassment that is sure to follow !


  4. Personally, I used alcohol to deflect my lack of confidence, and it wasn’t until I learned that there was more to life than the bar scene that I started dating men who didn’t drink. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a nice beer or wine on occasion now and then, but to truly get to know someone on a deeper level alcohol can’t be something that you hide behind…..

    may be that’s all you should have written here.


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