Declining the Invitation to the Dating Pity Party

dating-pity-partyYou are cordially invited to your very own dating pity party. It’s an exclusive, by invitation only, party. There will be ample alcohol available. Perhaps a pint or two of your favorite ice cream. Lots of comfort food. Tears and screaming are optional but highly recommended. Self-pity will be there as well as anger, bitterness and resentment. Feel free to bring pictures and items of significance. Anxiety attacks are optional. You might want to bring your phone so you can send irrational and emotional texts. This dating pity party promises to extinguish whatever positive hopeful light you still have lit inside of you. So are you coming? C’mon you’re alone and have nothing better to do …

Declining the Invitation to the Dating Pity Party

pity-partySound familiar? Ever been to a dating pity party? I think we ALL have. It usually happens when we’re feeling at our lowest and loneliest. It’s not rational. It’s not logical. It doesn’t make sense but we feel it’s necessary.  Something usually triggers it, perhaps someone we liked never called us back, perhaps we got dumped, perhaps it seems like the whole world is with someone and we’re not, perhaps it feels like we’re never going to find that special someone … or the one we love has found someone else, or even, God forbid, having a baby with someone else. Whatever the reason may be, the dating pity party invitation comes out of nowhere and hits us like a ton of bricks.It seems so much easier to go to the party than to think of things rationally.

I’m all for mourning a failed relationship or expressing your frustration or emotion, but, it shouldn’t be much more than a good cry to get the frustration out of your system. What you do need to do is find a healthy alternative to the dating pity party. You need to find another, more productive, outlet for your emotions. I find going to the gym and surrounding myself with loved ones extremely helpful. That’s what got me through my divorce and what’s gotten me through a lot of challenging dating situations throughout the years. There are only so many dating pity parties you can attend before they get stale.

Let me tell you something … NO ONE deserves your mental distress. NO ONE. It doesn’t matter how much you love them. It doesn’t matter how great they made you feel. It doesn’t matter if they were your soul mate. What matters is YOU. Get over the whole tragic love mentality … love isn’t tragic nor is it dramatic. It’s all about perspective. You need to see things for what they really are, not what you wish them to be or see them as “the one that got away”. The dating pity party is all about ego. Your ego. It’s also about pride. Nothing hurts your pride like being rejected. But, I will let you in on a little secret: it’s all about CHOICE. You can choose to feel sorry for yourself and keep looking back OR you can choose to move forward and look ahead to your bright future. So which will it be? The dating pity party OR I’m having a great time over here in the light … you gonna join me? I’d love to have you 🙂

Have you ever attended a dating pity party? How did you get out of your slump? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Copyright Single Dating Diva