There’s a kernel of knowledge that has lived deep inside my belly since my first encounter with my now life partner. In the beginning, I mistrusted it. Yet it has remained there, sometimes barely noticeable and at other times loudly insisting that he is the one!
Let’s play a little game called Yay/Boo. Yes, I met the love of my life, we bought a house together, and we both feel supremely lucky to have found each other (Yay!). However, before then, I was on my own for 13 long difficult years (Boo). Since my first “real” relationship ended at age 23, I spent what seemed like an eternity lost in the dating wilderness. Yes, I’ve been where you are. And I want you to know that he is out there!
This is what it’s like when, at long last, you meet your soul mate…
What It’s Like When You Finally Meet THE ONE
Magnetic Lure
Like Kylie Minogue said, “I can’t get you out of my head.” Is your attenae up every time you go out hoping you’ll run into a certain fellow? Being inexplicably drawn to someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re meant to be together forever. But I believe that when a mysterious force pulls you toward a complete stranger, it’s for a reason. So don’t ignore it.
Butterflies
Sure, over your entire lifetime, many guys who are most certainly not worthy will get your tummy fluttering. But do pay attention in any case because that nervous excited feeling is chemistry is action. Your body is telling you this could be something.
Calmness
After the butterflies, the eerie calm. Strangely, you’re not freaking out about whether or not he likes you. There’s no agony surrounding your phone’s activity level. You’re not out boring your friends by analyzing the meaning behind every little word and gesture. When he’s the real deal, there are no games. Not to say that there won’t be stressful moments or misunderstandings, but, on the whole, you will be surprised by how easy it all is.
Ease
And that brings me to my next point — being together feels pretty effortless. Whatever you’re doing together, whether it’s having a special date or just shopping on a Sunday afternoon, there’s very little stress involved. Hey, if you’re going to be together forever, then the everyday has got to feel natural.
Amazement/Disbelief
It’s like a dream come true! You’ve always fantasized about meeting someone who cares deeply about you and brings joy to your life… but perhaps you didn’t believe it was actually possible. I mean, can a person really be that wonderful? Trust me — despite all the hurtful past experiences with guys who seemed nice initially, there is one who will live to make you smile.
Shared Values
Opposites sometimes do attract (I am living proof), but even if you have completely separate hobbies and interests, one area where you’ll click is in your values. Maybe you think I’m talking about heavy topics — religious beliefs or political affiliations. Those things might be deal-makers for some, but I mean the day-to-day. When you meet your soul mate, you agree on what makes life pleasurable. You’re in harmony because you both know what’s important.
Support
In my opinion, dreams and goals are what make life worth living. Your man will not ridicule you for expressing your deepest wants, however extravagant. And when he sees you working toward something, he will help and encourage you every step of the way.
Weirdness
Have you ever suspected you might be too bizarre to be lovable? I have great news — weirdness is best when shared! You can be your most ridiculous self with the person who loves you and he will reciprocate. Fun!
I can’t lie, relationships are difficult. With any couple, there will be times of stress, as well as hot button issues that cause tension. But when you’re with the right person, all the important foundational stuff is there supporting you both through tough times. That kernel of knowledge doesn’t go away just because I might be having a bad day. I know we’re meant to be together and you will too, when you meet the one.
Be Bjütiful!
Brenda
READERS: Have you met “the one” or are you actively seeking them? How did you know? What are the signs? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Single Dating Diva welcomes Brenda! Brenda is a belly dancing accordion playing librarian from Ottawa, Canada. She blogs about life, love, beauty and books at Bjutie.com. Make sure to check out her site, like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
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Empowerment Coach Suzie 
What a great and informative post! 🙂
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Great blog! I like your comment around values, they are so important when you are looking for a partner. I suppose the ultimate questions is “How do you make sure that your values connect?”
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Good question. I think it just comes out as you get to know someone, but I also think you have to have the big conversations about kids and where you want to live. One key thing, I think, is to observe how you spend money. We all know money is what couples fight about the most and so if you want to spend all your disposable income on international adventures, and he wants to have big screen TVs and state-of-the-art sound systems in every room then that’s an indication that you don’t value the same things.
I know that, for me, I really had to separate out differing political beliefs to what was really important to me. The fact that we both had old mismatched furniture in our homes was an indication that we both put very little importance on appearance and much more on comfort.
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