It is what you make it. It’s about the process and not the outcome. Finding love isn’t so hard, is it? How about finding true love? Well, that’s not so easy. Doesn’t logic and reason go out the window when love is involved? Well, it doesn’t have to. But YOU have more to do with it than you think. So how do you find true love? It really is all up to you.
Finding True Love
Often times we set ourselves up for failure rather than success. Is it self-sabotage? Is it emotional availability? Is it unclaimed baggage? Is it a “checklist” that goes a mile long? It could very well be all these things, but, what happens when that gets in the way of our happiness? We take care of it, that’s what. They always say the first step is admitting it. You need to look inside yourself and ask “what is it that’s holding me back?”.
If you’re always meeting the wrong people and entering into situations that are doing you more harm than good, then it could very well be the choices you’re making. You are, after all, the common denominator in all this. I know. I’ve been there. It’s only when I realized what I was doing that I was able to stop it.
Finding true love is about being self aware and making smart dating choices. What are those who are successful in love doing differently? Well, I will tell you … and it’s not so unattainable.
We need to change the way we approach dating and this is how…
Finding True Love Starting With These 5 Steps:
1. Be Self Aware
Do a self-assessment and ask yourself what you could be doing differently. Do you have baggage? Then take care of it. Are you emotionally unavailable? Then ask yourself why. Do you always end up with the same type of person and end up hurt. Ask yourself why you choose them. By being self aware and understanding why you make the choices that you do, you will be able to make better dating choices that will help you in finding true love.
2. Make a New List
Look at your partner “checklist”. Is it a reasonable list of things you want in a partner or is it too picky? It’s important to have standards when dating, but it’s also important to know what you need and what you want. For example, things like common values and ethics are essential, superficial things like hair color are not. Take a closer look at your current list and divide it into “need to have” and “nice to have”. By doing that you have opened yourself up to a whole new group of people you might not have noticed before which helps in finding true love.
3. Be Your Best Self
This one is also very important. You need to always put your best foot forward, whether it’s in dating or in life in general. This means always bettering yourself by learning new things, it means having goals in life and working to achieve them, it means looking (and smelling) your best at all times, and it means surrounding yourself with people who bring out your good side. These are all things you have complete control over. It’s up to you to be your best self and by being your best self you will be at your most attractive.
4. Look for Love in All the Right Places
People always ask me where they can meet people other than online dating. I tell them “anywhere”. Vague? Well, not really. You have to see opportunities everywhere you go.The best way to meet a partner is by doing what you already do on a daily basis. You just have to have a heightened sense of awareness to what’s around you.
Going for coffee? Look around. Is there someone who piques your interest? Go over and say hello, start a conversation. Playing a sport? Going to the gym? Doing your hobby? All great places to meet someone. Don’t be shy, just saying “hi my name is …” is enough. If they’re not interested just say “nice to meet you” and move on. The right places are the situations you make for yourself, so go out there and meet someone new!!
5. Don’t Lose Hope
It is so hard not to lose hope when you have been on date after date after date. I get it, but you can’t lose hope. Think of it this way, every person you meet is a lesson learned. It is a new cobblestone on the path to your one true love. It will happen. It just takes some people longer than others. You just have to be ready for it. Thinking positively will attract positive experiences. Do not lose hope.
These 5 steps will help you in finding true love. Being self aware will lay a solid foundation for your love life, making a new list will help you know what is really important in a partner for you, being your best self will project the right image out to the world, looking for love in all the right places will always have you in the right place at the right time and not losing hope will keep you strong.
It will not happen overnight, but, it will happen. Just be patient and do all that you can to make it happen for you. Do not blame others for the choices that you make. If you make a mistake it is OK, we all do. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward into the arms of your true love. It can happen … just believe! I know I do.
READERS: What does finding true love mean to you? What does finding true love even mean? Tell us in the comments below!
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Copyright Single Dating Diva
A version of this originally published on Digital Romance
I’m convinced true love is very easy to find. My experience is women(and probably men) aren’t looking for true love. They’re looking for 5’11” not 5’10”. They’re looking for 75k to 100k not 50k to 75k. They’re looking for men younger. They are looking for athletic builds, not average. In short they are looking for all the wrong things. Not all, but many. And I’m absolutely positive if I looked at men’s profiles I would see the same thing.
I have a good job, successful in almost all my endeavours, I run marathons, I’m very creative, play guitar, award winning photographer. Great social life. But I’m 5’9″, make less than 80k. Not what women are looking for.
Put simply most people are looking for the wrong things. Thinking positive? I’m very positive. I’m positive it’s pointless to waste time looking for love in our shallow consumer driven society.
Not my problem. I’m O.K being single.
A chip on one’s shoulder is unattractive at any height or income level.
Thanks halfpastthirty! Agreed! You need to let that baggage go before being able to move forward.
Thanks for sharing your experience Mike. In my experience, what we put out there we get back. Stop being negative and focusing on what you don’t have and accentuate what you DO have. You are defined by what you project out there, so project all the great things you have to offer and the right person will be attracted to it like a magnet. Best of luck!
Good article. I think no.5 is key. The way I met my guy felt completely random. But I do know that I was ready. I’d had all the dating adventures I wanted to have and felt ready to open up to someone for real.
As for no.2, I’d say strip that list down to only 3 essential things!
Mike – I am 5’8″ and make substantially less than 80k a year. Granted, I am not too long removed from college. I garner a lot of female attention. Having a social life is great. But do you advance that when the feeling is right. Do you approach women, advance sexually with your interests?
You do not “search” for true love. If that is the case, it is not true. True love is organic. You cultivate these relationships by partaking in the things you love and enjoy and frankly the things you just want to do everyday. It is your job to approach and spark interest in people as they cross your path.
Great article with awesome advice. especially i like forth point. “Look for Love in All the Right Places” i always prefer this 🙂
Thanks James! We tend to overlook the obvious sometimes and looking for love while living your life and doing your activities is definitely the way to go!
Great article as always . I do believe in love , but it’s something we have to hold out for .From my experience, it seems no one wants to wait or give anyone their best , most of us are just out for instant gratification where it’s more of the idea of love than love it self . It seems that relationships are becoming like fast food , rather than fine dining .
Thanks Vicky! Great insights!! You’re right, we’re dating in a time where rarely people want to commit and agree that it’s all about instant gratification. We need to get back to dating the old fashioned way AND giving people genuine chances.
Great post! It’s so true that sometimes the best place to find true love is when you are doing every day things and you least expect it. If you are ready for it, it finds you!
Thanks BSG! You’re so right!! Many singles waste their time waiting for love to fall in their lap or weeding through online dates when in reality the best matches happen when you’re living your life doing things you love to do!!
I always tell people to stop looking or trying to find love until you’ve become the best person YOU CAN BE. Then you will attract all kinds of awesomeness into your life. PERIOD.
Thanks Ms. Cheevious. I agree, it starts with making yourself awesome and happy and fulfilled and only then will you attract the good stuff!
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