We often hear that we should have an attitude of gratitude and although that’s not bad advice we don’t always feel so grateful, particularly when it comes to our love lives. I know I find it hard to be grateful for my experiences, especially when things don’t go so well with someone I’m dating, which is why I’ve taken up writing in a daily gratitude journal. By remembering how lucky I am and how much I really do have to be grateful for, I quickly realize that it’s not about the bad experiences in my life, it’s about the lessons learned and moving forward in a positive direction. Scientists have found that writing down at least 5 things you’re grateful for each day actually helps you be happier about your life. Easy? Not one bit. Possible? Sure it is, but it takes time and a change of perspective. Today we celebrate World Gratitude Day which was created to take the “time, one day a year, to reflect on the many amazing things we have in our lives, it would positively impact our well-being and make us happier, more contended people.” I don’t know about you but I’m in!!
Studies have shown that being grateful actually does enhance your relationships. How? Well it not only helps strengthen your bonds with people, it also strengthens the bond you have with them. Not to mention, it actually improves your sex life. Yes, you heard me right. Because of the connectedness between you and your partner when gratitude is present, your sex life is enhanced. If those aren’t reason enough to be grateful, here’s another one, it’s good for you! Having an “attitude of gratitude” just makes you feel good and when you feel good you radiate positive energy thereby attracting positive things into your life. Essentially, being grateful actually improves psychological, emotional and physical health. So what’s the problem? Well, there is no problem. It’s all about choice. We can either choose to be grateful, or, we can choose to be negative and live in perpetual pity party mode . Which one do you choose?
How Daily Gratitude Brings Love Your Way
But how does daily gratitude bring love your way? I’ll tell you. It’s about focusing your attention on the right things in life. When you’re busy being grateful for what you DO have you aren’t focusing on what you don’t have. Being thankful for your dating experiences helps you see them clearer as well as assists in partner selection. Gratitude also triggers the “love hormone” oxytocin helping with those important bonds. Studies suggest (and psychologists agree) that “gratitude helps both at the start of a new relationship and later when one is working to keep a relationship strong. So, if you want to woo someone new, show that person that they are appreciated. If you want to maintain and strengthen an existing relationship, express your gratitude for what your partner does for you. You also want to express your appreciation of all the traits you love about them“. Furthermore, gratitude is contagious! The more you put it out there the more you get it back. Imagine that, showing someone that they are appreciated helps you get form more lasting bonds with them and makes both of you feel valued and cherished. In a study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology it was reported that “couples who expressed appreciation were more committed, more responsive, and more likely to stay together. The authors noted “These findings provide evidence that gratitude is important for the successful maintenance of intimate bonds“.
So I’m convinced … the simple act of gratitude does bring love your way by attracting positive people and experiences and helping you appreciate the negative experiences as lessons learned. Gratitude also helps you forge relationships and keep love. Who knows, maybe the secret to happiness all along has been gratitude. I challenge you to try it. Write down 5 things each day that you’re grateful for – your friends, your family, your job, your health, your talents … there I did it for you. See how easy it was? Keep doing it and keep being grateful for your experiences on your dating journey, that’s what I did and it’s only brought me to good places. Try it, what do you have to lose!?
READERS: Do you practice gratitude in any way in your life? Share what has worked for you and how it’s helped you have a better attitude to single life and dating.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
I’m a firm believer in gratitude.
My pets. Yes they are my family but always there.
My talents. These keep me sane.
Friends. People I can depend on are important.
My health. I don’t have the best health but could be far worse.
Yes, yes, and yes. Truth is you attract people who you’re like. If you have an attitude of gratitude you’ll attract other grateful people and your life doesn’t seem so miserable. It seems like a catch-22 but I swear it works. Thanks Diva for putting this concept into words!
I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that people should be grateful for what they have instead of focusing on what they don’t have. I absolutely agree with that! I don’t however find it true that you get what you give, not 100%. But I love the idea of people being more positive and focusing on the positive in their lives rather than the negative.
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