If you’re single, you’ve most likely tried online dating. No big deal, right? Well, sure, why not. But there’s one challenge, it’s online, so, you don’t always get to see the whole picture, only the one the others want you to see. Problem is that, unfortunately, many people by nature aren’t honest. Regardless of their intentions, good or bad, they want to paint themselves in the most desirable light possible which is why they lie on their online dating profiles. I mean I don’t think there’s anyone who hasn’t stretched the truth, even just a little bit. If you’re online dating and weeding through profiles, there are some red flags you need to be wary of.
I share my top 5 online dating red flags in my latest for eHarmony readers! Show me some love and click on the link below to read more!
Top 5 Online Dating Red Flags
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Empowerment Coach Suzie 
I would mostly agree. I think anyone who lies online is a red flag.
Red Flag 1: Empty or Negative Profile
Most of the time when I see an empty profile I assume it’s probably just a lurking profile. I have a few and use them just to lurk. Why lurk? because then I can see if it’s worthwhile to renew one of my memberships. Very briefly, I put up a profile on Match with a photo to see who contacted me and none of the guys interested me so I removed my photo. It was a free profile but testing the waters. Negative is usually someone who wants someone to use to get back at the ex. Saw that often people doing online to show their ex.
Red Flag 2: Out-of-date Picture
I’ve fallen for this as well. I kept my photos current, even taking a photo with my webcam that day but so many have obviously old photos. I couldn’t begin to mention all the men who had dark hair and good skin, only to meet and they were grey and wrinkled. Many men do this to attract younger women by claiming to be their age.
Red Flag 3: “Looking for a Relationship”
I had an interesting conversation with a guy who I met on a dating site about relationship status. On his profile it said something like ask him. I asked him before I met and he said that he was looking to eventually marry but had been told that if you put seeking a relationship it sent red flags. I had never heard of that before now. He was actually seeking a wife but also felt if he didn’t find her he wasn’t going to marry just anyone. We didn’t connect but he did find a woman.
Regarding those who really aren’t, some are but afraid of a relationship. These are usually those who never had an actual relationship or got burned. With these types, one needs to be patient and friends first. Some will eventually come around.
Red Flag 4: False Relationship Status
I’ve found two types of married men on dating sites, honest and non honest. Honest guys admit they are just looking for sex or a cyber relationship and nothing else. I thank them for their honesty and move on. The worst though are married guys who lie. Usually these guys are also the looking for relationships guys and will say they are seeking marriage. I found one early on but know a few who dated men for months until finding out.
Red Flag 5: Stretching the Truth about Body Type
Ugh why do men do this? Strangely most women I know who do this over state their body type (like a woman 5 pounds overweight in her mind will put a few extra pounds). Men though rarely do. I don’t generally date obese men but a guy honest about his size saying he is large may get a date. A man who claims to be average or athletic and is obese won’t. I once walked out of a date because the guy was a good 100 pounds heavier than he said, An ex of mine is morbidly obese and lists himself as average. He’s 54 yet claims to be 35. He’s been lying about this since I met him (just one reason I never speak to him and hate him). Sorry but 350 pounds at 5’8 is not average. If it was muscle he’d b e athletic but he wobbles and no muscles.
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From all the women I’ve dated I’ve been told that men lie especially about two things: 1) height 2) job/income.
From my own experience women lie about: 1) Age 2) Appearance.
The fact that people do this is nothing new. Why they do this is interesting. Men want to seem able to protect and provide for their woman. Women want their man to find them attractive.
We really haven’t progressed far as a species.
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Maybe because I’m not looking for a provider I find men lying about age, looks and marital status (or if they have kids). I’ve probably had guys lie about money but they lied about other things. For me looks mean more than income.
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This list needs to be red flags for women, because I know most of theses things, I could care less about income or body type, but then again I’m older and i have only been doing this online dating thing for about a year.
I understand why some men lie about ‘wanting a relationship’ and it’s true no woman wants to just “date” most want it to go “somewhere” so the guys lie and say that they want a relationship. Wouldn’t you? Ladies if you put on your profile that you want to be married with a baby within the next two years, do you think that you would be getting a ton of left swipes? No that’s a lot of pressure on a guy knowing this woman is sizing you up for a house and white picket fence.
I don’t know why women get tired of dating? I mean is the free meals? the plethora of eligible gentlemen clamoring for your attention?
The funny thing is there are so many articles about what not to look for but rarely do I see one on what to say to get HIS attention. Men don’t have many red flags because we are rarely chosen. If you let men chose you ladies then yes you will need to weed some out, but if you flip the script and chose him, you already know what your getting into.
I’m just sayin’
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Leon , I can only speak for myself and I don’t date for free meals. I’m not doing online now but when I did I met them in between Lunch and dinner to avoid this. That way if we really clicked I suppose we could decide to go to dinner or just wish each other well, or make plans for another day. Speaking as myself I didn’t relish sending time with guys I had no interest in. If both people are looking for a relationship I see nothing wrong with saying that’s what they are looking for. That helps prevent time wasters. Believe it or not there are women not looking for relationships and men looking to get married. As for eligible men, you’d think so (you in general)but in reality no. Most of the men who contacted me were not quality. Too many bitter men about their exes (wife, girlfriend whatever) who use online to try to hurt a woman to get back at the ex. Then there are the guys who try to find a new girlfriend who can help support their kids (or ex)or help babysit. Then there are the men just looking for sex and move on right away. Then there are the guys who perhaps are looking for a relationship but have issues like they are wacko. Then there are the delusional guys who assume women don’t judge on age or looks and they can be as old or fat as possible and women won’t care. Then there are the guys only judging me on my looks, as in they say “you’re hot” but don’t even look at the profile. By the time I screened these men out I wasn’t left with many. I contacted quite a few men and a few thanked me but most ignored me. It made me feel bad because I don’t have trouble attracting men except online.
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HI, I dated this woman (pretty woman). I seen her for 3 weeks. She has 3 kids.
Problem #1 she was lying often.(red flag) I did not know what to believe. I paid for her diner all the times. She says next time I will pay for the diner. On the phone I told her I know you are lying to me. She ask me how do I know I (she) was lying. I told her you are not the first woman I met. She told me she was separated, 3 weeks later I ask her are you divorce: she says NO Im still living with my husband and my 3 kids at home. She said YOU NEVER ASK ME BEFORE. I told her BYE BYE. I know if a WOMAN is lying or not TRUST me. Before meeting her I had a relationship of 7 years and other one of 8 years.
(Can t tell u may name). Was she lying about her age………
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This was a great article, I wish I had read it sooner, because maybe then I would have seen these flags,specially number 4! My last online “romance” ended up being a married man who was only looking for some “side fun”, absolutely gross.
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