Even though someone may consider that I’m one of the old school, I must truly say that I’d rather choose to have a real relationship than a virtual one. And I did so. My husband and I met in real life and not online dating. Many others, however, including some of my friends are really thrilled about the possibility to find a relationship online. Of course, in the digital age that we are living in, it is no longer a surprise to meet someone online. The question is, is it so safe, and is online dating a reality or illusion?
Online Dating: Reality or Illusion?
You’ll say that there are a lot of couples, who met online and are happily living together for a long time. But I know also a dozen of sad stories, about trustful and disappointed people. So to find out the truth and warn the others, I’ve decided to study the field. And here is what I can say:
Online Dating Sites
Your happiness (or disappointment) totally depends on the quality of the dating site. So before you start looking for your partner, take a look at the top dating sites, see the number of members and some reviews. It will really help you to choose the best one. While studying this field, I discovered some great sites (like cupid.com), offering free registration and communication with the site members. A new feature that’s unique is an advanced matching system which can help you meet a single with same interests as yours. Your choice in dating site really does make a difference, so choose wisely.
Spending Time Together
After you were convinced that the dating site you chose is the right one, and you’ve met someone that you’re interested in, you should learn more about the person you see as your potential partner. This means that you should take it offline and start spending less time on Internet. Try to learn more about each other, discover new places together, go to a movie and then for a walk. Your virtual relationship must gradually become a real one. Find out what each of you enjoys and do things that are mutually enjoyable.
After you’ve been seeing each other for a time, you need to see how they are in social situations. Before you get too attached to a person online, you should figure out their intentions. How to do this? You can do this by applying a simple test after you meet them in person, and you’ve been seeing each other for a time, go ahead and ask whether they are ready to meet your friends or vice versa: how about meeting their friends? Usually, if a person isn’t really interested in you, they will never meet your dearest people and, of course, will never introduce you to their friends. But make sure to manage your expectations because different people have different times of readiness. Don’t be afraid to tell others in your social circles that you met online and what site worked for you!
This post was brought to you by Cupid UK, where new love life starts!
I think it’s just another way to meet new people, but the sooner you can meet in person the better.I think for the most part it’s not really possible to know if there is chemistry there without meeting.
The problem I see with online dating is the fast food mentality, as in we want it now. Traditional dating usually was the result of knowing someone months or even years before dating. I think I’ve mentioned before but my brother and sister in law are a great example. They were platonic friends for years from grade school until somewhere in high school. They split up in college (attended different schools)and got back together after graduation and moved in, engaged and married. This was all happening about 10+ years. I know several others like this or many dating for years in school. Most of the people I know who married people they knew from school/work etc knew them years before dating.
However online doesn’t give that chance. You have to decide within 15 minutes or so because there are so many choices usually (or the illusions of choices). You can go the friends first routine but too many people don’t want to do that. This is especially true for older singles (talking late 20’s and up). They are seeing their friends and relatives marry so they want it NOW. Then there is also the sexual aspect where people are afraid to wait because they are afraid the person will dump them (though they will dump regardless if sex was all they wanted). With online you have no way to know what a person truly wants because they don’t share mutual friends. When I’ve dated guys just seeking sex if we knew mutual people I often knew this was what they wanted. With online I don’t know. Not to mention that you don’t know anything about them unlike traditional dating. In my brother and sister in law’s case their friends are all mutual because they were part of the same group. They knew each other in that respect. They knew they were the same age (ironically my brother is only a week older), they knew if they lied or were truthful, etc.
I haven’t had much luck online. Way too many liars. Then again the worst guy I dated I met in person and we knew some of the same people yet I didn’t know he was evil (con artist). He lied about everything. Likewise I’ve met some decent men online but no connections.
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