Can You Date More Than One Person At a Time?

The beauty of online dating is that you can generate a lot of dates with a lot of different people in a short period of time, especially if you market yourself the right way. So what do you do if you’ve met more than one person that you would like to pursue but can’t decide which one you want? Can you date more than one person at a time? Sure you can, you just have to proceed in a very open, honest and respectful way.

Dating more than one person at a time has everything to do with intention. It may seem like you’re playing the field, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with testing the waters before you jump in. When you meet one person who stands out from the crowd, you will then naturally focus on them alone. It’s a great way to get to know what kind of person you want to be with.

If you want to date more than one person at a time then you just have to keep a few things in mind:

  • Be honest and fair.  Make sure not to give anyone the impression that you are exclusive when you’re not.  That will only create problems for you.  It’s important that you treat them like you want to be treated. Just don’t kiss and tell, they don’t need to know what physical things you’re doing with others.
  • Manage expectations. Set no expectations and have no expectations.  It’s easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes, but don’t promise anything if you aren’t going to follow through on your word.
  • Enjoy the moment.  When you’re dating more than one, you need to enjoy the date you are on. Enjoy the process and let it flow naturally. It will help you make a better decision about them. Don’t worry about the long-term outcome at this point.
  • Be realistic.  If you’re “playing the field”, they probably are too. It’s just the reality of dating in the digital age.
  • Date with purpose. Dating should be fun but don’t lose sight of your ultimate desired outcome, whatever that may be. If you’re looking for a long term relationship then it’s important to narrow down your prospective dates sooner rather than later.
  • And most importantly – schedule wisely! Make sure not to double book or schedule two dates on the same day!

Usually, you will know after a couple of dates if you would like to keep seeing someone and eventually you will drop some of the people one by one and favor some over others.  Remember, you’re trying to get to know these people better in order to know if they are right for you. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, dating more than one person at a time should only be a temporary arrangement. Your ego might tempt you to pursue dating many at once for the long term, but it will only cause more problems than it’s worth because of potential emotional attachments and competing intentions, especially if things get physical. Besides, it can be exhausting! Dating should be fun and should have a purpose, keep that in mind and your experience will be a positive one.

Have a dating dilemma? You can always Ask Single Dating Diva a confidential dating question on

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

Originally appeared on eHarmony Canada.


  1. Yes, as long as you aren’t sleeping with more than one person. If you are, then that’s another story but with online they recommend early on dating a few. I’m sure the guys I was meeting on dating sites were dating others and it didn’t bother me. Once you both agree to be exclusive then no you shouldn’t date others. Since none of my dates from sites lasted more than a few days (not even kissing, nothing at all) then I think just dating one at a time is not very smart. It’s not like traditional dating where you probably knew the person months, even years before dating.


  2. I totally agree that seeing more than one person at a time is perfectly fine, I advise keeping the details of your dates secret, but not hidden. Meaning don’t hide the fact that you are seeing other people, but don’t advertise it on your dates. In my case I was on a date with someone new and another lady texted me to ask “what I was doing tonight?” my response was simple “Having drinks with a friend.” She got the point and it was easier than lying or making up a lame excuse.

    Also even if you’ve had sex, this does not mean you cut everyone else loose. As long as your safe and use protection no one needs to know what you are doing.

    dating multiple people will become tiresome, mostly from telling the same stories to different people and keeping track of who you told what to who, but eventually one will rise to the top and your choice will be clear. If your ready to become exclusive, then have THAT talk, if not then talk about having an “Open” relationship where you are both free to date other people.

    This option will only work if both of you are COMPLETELY honest with you feelings for each other.


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