Everyone wants to find their very own happily ever after. Dates, especially first dates, should help you determine whether or not someone is a good fit for your life or if they just aren’t right for you. That is why it’s important to really know what you’re looking for. Chemistry is very important, so are “butterflies”, but so is compatibility. So what makes a good date and what makes a bad date? What is the turning point? How do we really know that we want to see someone again?
What Makes a Good or Bad Date?
Some of the best dates I’ve been on were simple and was all about talking and sharing. They weren’t expensive (most were free) and some of them turned into something more while others didn’t, but they were all great experiences. To me, a good date is one that makes me not even notice the time pass. The conversation is good, I laugh, I feel an attraction, there’s chemistry and I don’t want it to end. I’ve also been on some horrible dates that made me want to run and run fast. A bad date is one that makes me wonder why I’m there, I can’t wait until it’s over, it’s awkward and just negative all around. So what makes a good date or a bad date? Here are some things to consider …
A Good Date…
- Instant attraction
- Makes you smile
- Makes you laugh
- Conversation flows
- Date is a good listener
- Eye contact
- Things in common
- Doing something like an activity
- Date is considerate
- Makes you feel special
- Proud to be with date
- Ego boost
- Want to jump their bones
- It just feels right
- You want to kiss or hug them
A Bad Date…
- Person is weird
- Creepy vibe
- Bad / forced conversation
- Date looks at other people
- Feeling undervalued
- Date has bad hygiene
- Date misrepresented themselves online
- Date doesn’t look like picture
- Date has obvious baggage and talks about it
- You’re repulsed by their habits (the way they eat, drink, etc)
- Date treats other people poorly
- You don’t want to even touch them
- Date tries to take advantage of you
Essentially you either “feel it” or you don’t then it’s really up to you whether or not you want to see them again. Each date is an experience and a lesson learned either way, and we should be grateful for every dating experience because of that. Going on many dates with various types of people will help you narrow down what works and doesn’t work for you. In the end, you’re trying to find your very own happily ever after and all these dates should get you to your ultimate goal.
They say you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or princess and that’s very true. But, isn’t that true of most things in life? Dating is a journey and is a process of learning and personal growth. It’s not about the outcome, which comes naturally on its own. What makes a good or bad date is how it makes you feel. Listen to your gut, it will always tell you the truth about someone. If it feels good, then get to know them more, if, on the other hand, it feels “off” then don’t continue, it’s as simple as that. The important thing is that you DO date and date often, it’s the only way to reach your ultimate goal … go ahead, kiss a lot of frogs, and, one day, you WILL find your happily ever after.
Have a dating dilemma? You can always Ask Single Dating Diva a confidential dating question on http://singledatingdiva.com.
Your Sister in Dating Bliss,
Single Dating Diva
Originally appeared on eHarmony Canada.
I agree with that list, though to me bad is subjective. For example when I did online I met many guys that I struggled to have a conversation with.. They were great guys, just not my type. I wouldn’t consider those bad dates. However, if you argue or they are liars, those are bad dates. I’ve had guys attack my looks, or ask for sex and those guys became creepy (and I left.
I have been on dates that were not “Bad” but it left me wanting. I’ve only been dating for a few years, but here’s how I minimize going out with women I wouldn’t want to go out with again. I get all of my dates online, because it’s hard to met women on the street and single women rarely travel alone to bars or clubs. with that being said if the online conversation does not flow as if we are talking in person or I get one word answers or she asks nothing about me, then I don’t even ask them out and eventually I “Ghost ” them and just stop messaging or texting them.
If I do ask them out, I like to go on meet and greet dates that are intended to be quick so that if either of is not into it after meeting the whole night is not ruined. If we hit it off then we can stay and talk or take a walk somewhere else like a restaurant or something.
Before I get to meeting I mentally prepare myself to have a good time and to be fun and engaging and trying to make sure that she is having a good time. I also turn my phone off before we meet, that way there are no notifications to distract from the date and I’m not tempted to look at it when there is a lull in the conversation.
Also I go into the date with no expectations. I’m just here to have a nice time and good conversation. I keep my hand to myself and in plain sight so that she doesn’t feel like I’m there for anything else but her company.
I also don’t try to dominate the conversation or fill every awkward pause with my voice, I tend to let her talk as much as she wants and if I goes quiet I just look at her like she’s only one in the room and that usually gets a smile and starts the conversation flowing again.
At the end of the date I pay without asking her for any money, the good dates offer and insist on paying half, which I appreciate and I think it’s the woman’s way of saying she has her own. Those that didn’t offer any money at least acknowledged the check and would offer to get the drinks at the next location or the next date.
I’ve had 1st dates that went ok and at the end the guy locks lips with me to my surprise. My suggestion is that if you’ve just met and you want a kiss, ASK.
As a dating adviser, I can say that it is not important that you will get the desired mate on the first date. If it doesn’t work out the first time, go for it the second and third time. You will definitely find your mate one day. But, also make sure that you don’t sound boring or disinterested while dating, stay happy and positive and enjoy your date.
Comments are closed.