Why Emotional Intelligence Is Essential In Modern Dating


How much in control of your emotions are you? Do you have a reactive personality? Does everything that happens to you affect your wellbeing? Answer yes to any or all of these? Then your emotional intelligence, or your EQ, might need a little fine tuning. Emotional intelligence is “the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions“. What does that mean really? It means that people who are emotionally intelligent have balanced emotions because they are self-aware and effectively expressive. They are able to use their emotions in a positive way and affect their environment as result. How does this relate to dating? Why is emotional intelligence essential in modern dating? It’s because modern dating is, frankly, a challenging adventure full of many storms that need to be weathered in an effective way in order to succeed and find love. Those who are emotionally intelligent fare much better than those who are emotional disasters. Why? I’ll explain.

Why Emotional Intelligence Is Essential In Modern Dating

Modern dating is hard enough as it is, you don’t need your emotions making it more challenging. Don’t get me wrong, having emotions is normal and important, but, you need to know how to put things into perspective and control your emotions. It will definitely make your dating life much easier to handle. Perspective is everything. You need to be able to control your emotions and make them work for you. An emotionally intelligent person will manage their expectations of someone and will be realistic about what the other person will do or not do. for example, if you got rejected or didn’t get a call back after a date, you won’t internalize it and lash out or get depressed. In the same way, you won’t over text someone or overshare either. An emotionally balanced person will know how to react to every situation in a way that makes them seem mature and intelligent. You need to also be aware of how your reactions and emotions affect others.

You need to be able to recognize your trigger points and know how to control them. Just stop, take a deep breath and deal. It really is about managing your expectations of people and knowing that people aren’t always going to be what you want them to be and that’s OK. So do your emotions control you or do you control them? Not sure, then keep these 4 expert tips in mind …

You need to be SELF-AWARE: Are in control of your emotions or are they in control of you? Realize how they affect your thoughts and actions. Recognize your triggers and what’s behind it.

You need to SELF-MANAGE: Being impulsive is not in your best interest. Managing your emotions includes controlling your impulses, reactions and actions. Demonstrating stability is key here.

You need to be SOCIALLY AWARE: You need to realize how your actions and reactions affect others. This includes both verbal and nonverbal behavior. You also need to be able to assess other people’s reactions as well, this includes learning how to effectively assess others.

You need to MANAGE RELATIONSHIPS: You need to be able to have positive interactions with others. Are you someone who draws people to you like a magnet, or, repel them away. Being able to “play well with others” is a key component of dating successfully. So if you have a sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations or baggage then you’re at a definite disadvantage when dating.

Emotional intelligence is really about knowing and being true to yourself. Being confident in yourself helps you project a better image out to others which, in turn, can get you more dates. No one wants a work in progress or someone who makes their life harder and not easier. Be the one who makes other people lives better whatever you’re doing. You realize that failure is a normal part of dating and that taking a chance is OK, even if you don’t always succeed. Dating can be fun. Life can be good. Emotional intelligence will help you get there.

READERS: Are you emotionally intelligent when dating? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Want help dealing better with the current dating climate? I’ve released my new workbook to help you attract the love you desire AND IT’S FREE… if you’re interested in receiving a free copy then click HERE and register your name to get the book, tell your friends too because this is a VERY VALUABLE resource! You CAN increase your datability and chances at your very own happily ever after (just like my clients AND me!), you just have to choose to get out of your comfort zone and start thinking strategically. I’ll show you how!

Your Sister in Dating Bliss,

Single Dating Diva

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  1. Great post and agree. There are way too many angry people on dating sites and they tried to blame me and other women for what women did to them. they need to heal first.


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