One of my favorite quotes is from Tene Edwards and it reads, “Know your worth. You must find the courage to leave the table is respect is no longer being served.” Wow! So powerful! Those who value their worth are usually happier because they are more confident and are more comfortable in who they are are. When you value your worth, you stop tolerating, or even excusing, lack of respect. A part of this is also self-respect. Not everyone is there yet, and that’s OK but it’s a goal worth reaching for. It starts with believing that you’re worthy and valuing your worth and ends with being surrounded by those who lift you up rather than use, abuse and disrespect you.
How to value your worth:
- Talk about yourself in a positive way.
- Accept that you’re not perfect and that’s OK.
- Voice your concerns when your boundaries not being respected.
- Remove negative people and things from your life.
- Trust your instincts / gut.
- Be confident about who you are and what you have to offer.
We’ve all experienced someone judging us unfairly, disrespecting us or treating us poorly. Whether it’s a family member, a friend, a lover, a love interest or even a co-worker or employer – it stings. It bites away at your soul and crushes your ego. No one (regardless of how they act or what they say) likes to be treated badly by others. The difference is that some people have put up a shield of self-worth that deflects or minimizes the hurt (intrinsic value) while others have not and the experience beats them down further. It comes down to healthy boundaries.
It all starts inside you. You own life experiences have made you who you are, they have defined you. However, I want to challenge you to define yourself. I want to challenge you build yourself up so much that you CAN deflect disrespect and, ultimately, be confident enough to remove yourself from the situation when “respect isn’t being served”. Believe that you deserve no less and you will end up surrounding yourself with people and experiences that are good for you rather than those that want to use, abuse and disrespect you.
Think of it this way if you project an image to people they will believe it. If you’re not projecting confidence and self-respect other will not respect or value you, and, ultimately, when you’re too busy making others happy it hinders you from truly knowing who you are and what great things you bring to the table. Start by doing things for YOU. Look good for YOU. Be successful for YOU. Don’t be a chameleon who changes depending on their environment, instead, be proud of standing out from the crowd. You can still be a “team player” while bringing your own unique gifts.
A great article I read outlines the keys to doing this (read article for more details): knowing your self-worth, loving yourself, being kind and compassionate with yourself, accepting who you are and having self-respect. Also, set healthy boundaries for yourself, know your limits and respect them, communicate to assert your feelings and needs, tune into your feelings and how situations make you feel and be assertive when boundaries are being crossed. It’s a process for most of us but it’s undoubtedly worth it. When we’re bombarded with images of so-called perfection and skewed milestones of success, we can feel inadequate.
POST IT NOTE: I will not tolerate disrespect
Click here for recorded segment exclusively on BlastTheRadio.com: VALUE [6:57 min]
One. Step. At. A. Time.